Surviving
by AngelEddison
Summary: After finally getting together, Sara is told devastating news that she fears will rip them apart.
1. Perfect

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter One: Perfect**

It had seemed that her fairy tale dream had finally come true as she lay in her bed listening to the subtle sounds of her new lover sleeping; the deep breathing; the light murmurs of his dreams, and the steady rhythm of his heart beating beneath her ear.

As much as she tried, she couldn't remember exactly how this had all happened or who initiated it, but she could remember and in vivid detail the overwhelming love, need and devotion that she found in his eyes as he laid her down onto the soft and awaiting mattress. She could remember the nervousness she felt as he entered her, but how she never felt safer in her life. She could remember when he tenderly brushed a stray strand of hair from her face with the lightest touch of his fingertips and the feathery feeling of her lips tingling when he pressed his to hers. She remembered with the utmost fascination how and when the small beads of sweat formed all along the length of her body and he kissed each one away. But perhaps the most memorable moments of their moments together, was when he slowed his movements inside of her and looked directly into her blissful brown eyes and with the all of the adoration and love he felt whispered the words she had long to hear for years.

"I love you Sara."

And as a single tear streamed down her cheek from the truth she saw in his blue depths, he tenderly wiped it away and kissed her softly.

"I love you too." She whispered back with a loving smile as she spilled her soul into him with her returning kiss.

Everything seemed to be perfect. He loved her and she loved him. There were no more walls around their hearts or rules that needed minding or fears that overruled the heart, it was now just them, together finally, after all the time they wasted, lying in each other's loving embrace.


	2. Temptation

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Two: Temptation**

The following day was just as wonderful. Waking up together was such a new feeling, but at the same time, it just felt so natural to them both. They made love for a second time before Grissom took a shower, followed by Sara as he made them each some breakfast, or dinner; they have weird schedules. After eating together, which consisted of them eating off of each other's plates, stealing kisses between bites and a teasing game of footsy beneath the table, as if they had been in this routine for years, they curled up on her sofa and worked on the crossword puzzle together, which ended up taking longer than usual because of the frequent kissing breaks.

"What are we going to do at work?" She asked between kisses.

"What do you mean?" He asked, wondering if she was referring to them announcing their new found relationship.

"I mean look at us, we can't keep our lips to ourselves for one minute. How are we going to last an entire shift?" She said, kissing him again and again and again.

"I see what you mean. But I think I'll be able to do it. You however, don't stand a chance." He said rather smugly.

"Oh, no! I'll make it, you won't." She said running her fingertips lightly up the top of his thigh.

"Care to make a wager on that one?" He asked as he returned her movements to the back of her thigh.

"A wager? As in a bet? Sure. How much?" She said rather intrigued by the idea.

"Hmm…a hundred bucks." He whispered as he was kissing her ear.

"You're on!" She said, flipping herself completely on top of him and kissing him passionately.

"What was that for?" He asked with a huge smile when the kiss ended, leaving him just about breathless.

"Just getting it out of my system now." She said as she laid back down beside him, cuddling into his chest as she read the next clue for the crossword. "Nine down. Ten letters. Clue is…Influencing by exciting hope or desire." She said with a giggle.

"Very funny. Temptation. But I'm going to win. You won't be able to last." He said kissing her again.

"Oh yeah? And why is that?" She asked placing kisses to his neck, making him moan involuntarily.

"Mmm. Because, my dear, you have been chasing me for years and now that you have me you won't be able to stop yourself." He said as he again kissed her.

"We'll see Bugman." She said simply. "May the best…uh…CSI…win."

"Always the politically correct." He joked.

"Someone has to be." She retorted with yet another kiss.

When it finally came time to leave for work, which neither of them went in early today for a change, Grissom left first so he could stop at his house and change clothes and Sara left soon after, going straight to the lab. That shift, as expected, was very difficult in the self-control department. Having to pretend that nothing had changed between them in front of everyone, it was very hard for both of them, especially since they were working the same case. The entire shift however, they were purposely trying to make it harder for the other to win the bet. Seductive looks were exchanged as well as the very occasional 'accidental' touches, leaning as close as possible and whispering alluring comments that would make their blood boil, flirtatious remarks and smiles. They were basically trying to torture the other into cracking. They had to remind each other and themselves quite frequently that they were at work with lots of people and jumping the other's bones was a strict 'no no.' When she was in a layout room looking through the microscope at a sample, he came up behind her and ran his hands up and inside her shirt inching closer and closer to her breasts.

"Uh uh uh! You can look but you can't touch!" She said forcibly removing his hands.

Grunting he moved away and asked about the case, while trying to stop the erotic images floating through his head of things he would love to do to her in the layout room, especially with that table that lights up.

"Griss?" She called again when he didn't reply to her report on evidence and then saw him dazing off and staring at her chest. "Grissom!" She yelled, slightly amused by his very obvious _reaction_ to whatever he was fantasizing about.

Shaking his mind free of those thoughts of her naked and moaning on the table, he focused back on reality only to find Sara staring at him clearly trying to hide her grin by pursing her lips together. She looked amused with her eyes wide and her eyebrows raised in a silent question.

"Sorry, I, uh, spaced out." He said timidly.

"Yeah…" she paused to clear her throat and motioned towards his 'manly' region. "I noticed." She was trying desperately not to laugh, but it was very hard. **(No pun intended.)**

"Uh...I uh…umm…" He stuttered as his face turned a magnificent shade of red. He looked like he was ready for the Christmas tree.

"It's okay honey, it's nothing I haven't seen or...uh…caused before." She said with a giggle.

"Yeah, thanks." He said coyly as he grabbed his lab coat and wrapped it around himself as he began to walk out.

"I just hope it was me you were picturing on that table." She teased as he left. He turned and shot her a dumbfounded look.

Surprisingly, given the distractions they were inflicting upon each other, they solved their case and in record time too. Now all that was left was the piles of paperwork that were beckoning them. Together they sat in the vacant break room sorting through files and filling out forms. The rest of the team were all still out on their cases so they were able to be alone. The paperwork however was not working so well as a barrier between them. To avoid temptation as much as possible, Grissom had seated himself across from her, rather than next to her. He couldn't help but to continuously stare at her from over his file, but she always seemed to be hard at work, which did say a lot in terms of him being her boss. But still, he kept wondering how she had been keeping in control all night when he was barely holding it together. He had had a fantasy about her in every room they went into all night, but she just seemed to be her normal Sara self. She seemed happier and having a lot of fun torturing him, but she just seemed unaffected. While he was contemplating how she was so calm, he came upon another problem; her shoe had been kicked off and her foot had found it's way to his leg, starting from his ankle and slowly, teasingly, brought it up his leg and up to his thigh, inching it closer and closer to his arousal until finally he jumped up, knocking over his chair in his haste.

"Sara!" He yelped, very stimulated, even more so than before.

Now all he could think of was taking her right there and then on the break room table, right on top of all the paperwork. God help them if the papers ever made it near ALS, but right now, he could care less. She didn't even look up from the report she was reviewing. She just let out a small chuckle and smiled with achievement at having worked him up so much. She couldn't wait until after shift was over. That would be fun.

Deciding that sitting across from her was probably a dangerous place for him and his arousal to be, he hesitantly took the seat next to her, also fearing that the worst would come from being that close, but thought that unless she knew some serious yoga moves, which he tried hard not to focus on in his current state, he would be okay. But again, as he took the seat, she didn't even flinch. Se didn't look up as he sat down, just kept her focus on her papers. When, after a few minutes, she didn't make a move, he breathed a sigh of relief and continued on with the report that needed his approval. Just as he started to sign the last page, her hand slipped its way under the table and up his inner thigh to the spot she had learned the previous day was a very _sensitive _area and drove him crazy. He clenched his teeth together and looked up at her. Other than her fingertips dancing along his very receptive flesh, she was paying him no mind. His whole body, however, was paying every last bit of her complete attention. He just hoped that who ever read the report he had been signing didn't notice the long line stretching from his signature.

About ten more minutes went by with her torture tactics; her sly way of unbuttoning the top few buttons of her blouse and leaning forward on the table for him to see, or her fingers casually gliding over his crotch and up to his belt, where several times she unbuckled it, only to have him redo it just as quickly. She ended up doodling little hearts in the corner of his notepad and writing 'Sara loves Grissom,' 'G+S,' 'I love you,' 'I want you now,' and others all over the margins. During all of her 'fun,' she never once even removed her eyes from her actual work and was surprisingly completing the forms too. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore when she got up to refill their coffee cups. (She thought it was cute that she could make his coffee without having to ask how he liked it.) As he watched her from the table, she kept looking over her shoulder and smiling teasingly at him. She was killing him and at this point he was done caring about the bet and his pride, he needed to feel her, to touch his lips to hers, to feel the heat of her body sear into his, to feel her hands on him and her skin beneath his fingertips. Without taking a second to reconsider, he jumped up from the chair and practically ran to her. Taking her with some force in his arms, he spun her around to face him and without even giving her time to process, he placed his lips hard against hers and kissed her with all the passion he felt, trying to release some of the pent-up tension she had caused. His tongue mingled with hers as his hands explored her body and lifted her up onto the counter, letting her wrap her legs around his waist. Allowing him to bask in his craze, she covertly moved her hands down his back and towards his butt as he moved his mouth to her neck. When she reached his butt, he was so wrapped up in the heat of moment that he didn't notice what she was doing. She carefully pulled his wallet from his back pocket and removed the hundred dollars from it, once she succeeded she pulled back abruptly and jumped off the counter, handing him back his wallet.

"What the…" He started looking at his wallet, confused, but when he looked up to see her holding the money up in her hand he caught on. "You evil, evil woman!" He gasped, more aroused than he had been all day.

"I try. I told you that you couldn't make it! I win, fair and square. You, Gil Grissom, man of no emotion could not make it eight hours without trying to do me right here in the lab! Incredible! Now those are stories to tell the grandkids." She joked as she walked to the exit. Turning back around, she laughed at his still perplexed expression. "You see Griss, you thought that you would be my weakness because I chased you for so long, but it's quite the opposite. I've had practice keeping my urges around you in check. Believe me; I've had fantasies about doing very naughty and inappropriate things to my supervisor in just about every room in this lab, and some crime scenes. I can't even begin tell you how many times we would be in a room and with one look you'd have me looking for the nearest flat that I could pin you on." She explained smugly as she walked back to him and upon the completion of her comment, placed a quick kiss on his lips. His look of shock at her confession did not go unnoticed by her, she actually found it amusing and mentally reminded herself to cause that face more often. "Seriously Griss, were you thinking that you could just ravage me right here on the table?" She teased him. His face dropped significantly with guilt when he realized how well she could read him. Laughing some more, knowing she had been right, she continued. "Oh my god, you were! Well as fun as that would be, and trust me, I've thought about it, I don't think that Ecklie would appreciate it as much."

"You've…uh…fantasized? About me? Here?" He stumbled out shyly.

"Oh yeah, all the time. Every room in this lab, and some crime scenes have been christened by my fantasies. Your desk…err…that one comes up every time I stand in the doorway. The layout table with those lights, mmm. I know you were thinking that earlier. The back seat of the Denali's. The showers. The locker room bench. Hell, up against the lockers. The supply closet. The lab tables…" She trailed off upon seeing the swirling mixture of desire and shock in his eyes. "You name it, I've thought it, and I have to say, sometimes it gets pretty…uh…interesting." She said with a shrug. Looking around the room, he couldn't help but notice all the flat surfaces. The couch, the chairs, the counters. She giggled as she watched him take in the room, knowing damn well what he was looking at. Giving his cheek a light kiss, she merrily walked towards the exit of the room with her winnings in hand.

"So, I'll see you later, RIGHT?" He called after her desperately in a suggestive tone. He was in serious need of her body - right now.

Turning around with a naughty grin, she slowly wandered back over to him and kissed him leisurely, letting her tongue dance with his before pulling back, raising her bet money for him to see and whispered in his ear.

"Well, it would seem that you have paid in advance, so I suppose you'll just have to." And with that, she turned back around and walked back to the door, torturing him with the sway of her hips and the tantalizing motions of her placing the money into the tight back pocket of her jeans.

He was mesmerized by her. He must have sat there for another ten minutes just staring at the space she had vacated with the same dopey smile on his face. Shaking his mind free of all things Sara, or as much as he could, he turned back to his paperwork.


	3. Appointments and Routines

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Three: Appointments and Routines**

End of shift came quickly enough and Grissom followed Sara back to her apartment. She had barely even made it out of her car when he was there kissing her and trying to remove her clothes right there in the parking lot.

"Whoa there tiger. Down boy. Can we at least get inside first?" She said laughing as she tried to pry him off of her.

"Sorry, it's just you…well…you're irresistible…" He breathed out as he continued to trail kisses down her throat as he walked with her to her apartment.

"Well that's flattering, but no offense, you resisted for five years…" She shot out with a grin.

"I was stupid. Please punish me." He growled into her ear as he reached his hand up her shirt and caressed her breast with his hand as she tried to focus enough to unlock the door.

She had just turned the door knob when he pushed her through and kicked the door shut behind him, spinning her and pushing her into it as he continued his assault on her body. For the next two hours they were like that, assaulting the other's body, exploring, caressing, teasing, and kissing all over.

The next day went about the same, only they had to be more careful as they were working with the entire team on a new case.

Finding herself alone in the locker room at the end of shift that day, she took the opportunity to call her doctor's office and schedule an appointment to be put back on birth control. It had hit her that night during shift that she wasn't on it and they hadn't exactly used anything in the days prior. Luckily for her they had just had a cancellation and could fit her in an hour. To waste some time, she took a quick shower. She was back at her locker getting ready to leave when Grissom entered the room.

"Hey you." She said with her trademark Sidle-smile.

"Hello Beautiful." He replied with an equally large smile, grazing against her body as he passed by her to his own locker. Even that smallest touch was enough to ignite fireworks in her veins. "So, will I see you later?" He asked casually after checking to see that they were alone.

"Umm. Yeah. I just need to take care of something for about an hour first, but then I could just meet you at your place if you want." She had to admit that she hoped that he would want her in his home. All their time together in the last couple days were at her apartment, and until he really opened up to her, she would still be feeling doubts that this was more than just a fling.

"Sounds good to me." He answered pulling out his jacket. "Umm, Sara?" He asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?"

"Is everything okay?" And at her look of obvious confusion he added, "With whatever you need to, uh, take care of." He sounded truly concerned and frankly, it touched her heart.

"Hmm? Oh, that. Yeah. Yes. Definitely. Everything is more than okay." She said confidently as she thought about what she had to 'take care of.' Rising from the bench with her things, she quickly glanced around the room to make sure there was no one there before approaching him and giving him a light kiss on his cheek. As she made her way to the door his voice stopped her.

"Bring your appetite!" He sounded so cute and boyish. Like a kid going on his first date, his voice was laced with nervous jitters and playfulness. He was absolutely adorable by all standards. Deciding to mess with his head, and hormones, yet again, she turned around and backed slowly to the door with a seductive smile.

"Oh, I will." She retorted in a low, husky, 'come hither' voice that made his head spin before disappearing through the door. A large blush rose from his neck to his cheeks as the rest of his blood rushed far more south. He tried forcing himself to recite the complete periodic table of elements to refocus his mind from the thoughts of what her appetite is going to be for. And something told him that it wasn't eggs. But all of his attempts were useless. He was hopeless, and she, she was a tease.

"This woman is going to be the death of me." He mumbled to empty room before retrieving his things and leaving.

At the doctor's office, after waiting for twenty minutes to be called, she was prescribed the birth control pills, and while there the doctor suggested doing a routine physical since she was due for one soon anyways. Tests were taken, swabs collected and blood drawn. The doctor had been particularly curious about a bruise on her leg after she mentioned that she had received it weeks ago when she tripped at a crime scene. He didn't say much about it so she didn't think much about it. Finally, she was sent on her way with a promise from the doctor to call when her tests came back.

The pharmacy was just as crazy. After waiting in line for another half hour and checking her watch every minute, she made her way to the pharmacists counter. The man in the white coat, that seemed to match the color of his thinning and receding hair, for some reason felt the need to explain the pills to her as if she were a sixteen year old girl thinking about having sex with her boyfriend for the first time, but he was sweet so she indulged his weird need and let him talk.

Everything that she had thought would take an hour took much longer than expected and she arrived on Grissom's doorstep about and hour and a half after she said she would, tired, hungry and seething at the events of her morning. When the door flew open, she was taken aback by it until she saw the terrified look stemming with relief in his ocean blue gaze. By the way he pulled her desperately to him for a fierce, bone-breaking hug, she guessed that he had been worried. When he pulled back and started scanning her body for and signs of trauma, a wave of guilt passed over her for having not called him. She hadn't even thought about it. She never had someone worry before, and a relationship with anyone was few and far between, so she wasn't used to having to call anyone if her errands ran over.

"Are you okay?" She asked him when his arms still hadn't released her and his eyes had yet to stop scanning her body.

"I should be asking you that. You are right? Okay I mean." He retorted, panic lacing his words as he finally stepped back and let her into his house.

"I am. I promise. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry. It's just this is all so new to me and I didn't even think to call. And oh god, I'm the worst girlfriend ever, aren't I? It just took so much longer than I had anticipated. It took forever for them to call me and then they wanted to do some extra stuff, and then there was this unbelievable line at the pharmacy and the guy wouldn't stop talking to me like I was some school girl, but he was just so adorably 'grandpa-ish' that I didn't have the heart to tell him to shut up and…" She rambled on, pacing a whole in his floor as her arms flailed with her breathless explanation. He was finding it all quite humorous despite the situation, the way she was always over-talking around him. Lucky for him, he had learned one sure-fire way to shut her up. Grabbing her arms mid-pace he turned her to him and kissed her fiercely.

'_Well that worked.'_ He thought to himself as the silence drifted in the air. Pulling back for much needed air, she slowly opened her eyes to meet the smile that rested in his blues.

"Well." She gasped. "If I get kisses like that, I should make you worry more often." She joked as he took her hand and led her to the table while he went to the kitchen to retrieve their re-heated breakfast. Sitting down with her, they began to eat in a comfortable silence. He, glad that she was safe and 'home' per say, and she, glad that he wasn't mad at her for being late, but rather worried about her well-being. After a few minutes though, the words from her rant finally caught up with his brain and suddenly he was worried again.

"Um, Sar'" He asked her, breaking her from her thoughts of how delightful he was.

"Yes darling." She replied feeling very at ease now that she was with him, in his home, with food and knowing that he truly did care for her and not just her body.

"Umm, why, um, why did you have to go to the pharmacy? You're okay right?" He tried to sound calm, but she saw through him as if he were made of glass and she could see that he was genuinely concerned about her. It made her heart swell.

"Yeah, I told you, I'm fine. These pills, they're more to…prevent." She said cryptically as she bit into her toast and scanned over the newspaper.

"Prevent? Prevent what? If you don't mind me asking of course." She couldn't help but smile at how cute the face was that he made when he was worried about her and perplexed about something at the same time. It was a one-of-a-kind 'Grissom face' she determined as she took another bite of her toast.

"Umm, well, let's see. Nausea and tiredness, soreness of the breasts, abdominal swelling, sore and swollen ankles, and mood swings." She said with a light smile, now sipping her orange juice and stealing bites from his toast.

He was truly confused. He couldn't think of any diseases that had all of those symptoms.

"What causes…" And then it dawned on him. Pregnancy, of course. Not at all a disease, but none the less, he figured it out. "Oh. Oooh." He added as he connected all the dots.

"Wow Griss. For a world renowned scientist of your stature, I would have thought that you would have caught on a lot quicker." She teased him, making him blush from embarrassment and pout before stealing his toast back and kissing her cheek.

"Thank you." He told her sweetly a few minutes later, taking a part of the newspaper.

"For what?" It was now her turn to be confused.

"For doing that. And I'm sorry, I should have asked or even thought about it. I shouldn't have put you in that position. It's just that when you were there, it was by far the last thing on my mind. And I'm sorry for that. I should have been more responsible." He explained somberly.

"Griss, honey, don't be. Really. Remember, I was in that bed too, and I wasn't protesting. Trust me, you weren't alone in where your thoughts were. I didn't even think of it until shift last night and only because one of my witnesses was pregnant." She assured him, turning to him to cup his cheek and give him a warm kiss. "Now Dr. Grissom, I believe that there is a bed that is anxiously calling our names."

"Oh yeah?" He asked excitedly.

"Down boy. Just sleep. I'm exhausted. I wouldn't be any good."

"Somehow I doubt that." And with her skeptical look, he shrugged. "Okay my love, just sleep. I promise. I'll behave." He held up his right hand as if swearing to tell the truth before placing it in hers and leading her to his bedroom. Despite his promise to behave he couldn't help but watch as she shed her clothing to his floor and slipped on one of his old white dress shirts, revealing her very long and deciduous legs.

"Grissom…" She warned as she turned to see him gawking at her.

"Hands to myself I promise." And then with the playful smirk she gave him, he reiterated. "That came out wrong. I'll behave." She smiled and shook her head with a light giggle before climbing onto the bed as he stood up and shed his clothes down to his boxers. He climbed in next to her, set the alarm and turned off the lamp before settling in. Instantly her body found his and she rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around his waist.

"Goodnight Griss." She whispered into the darkness, kissing his bare chest.

"Goodnight Sara." He returned, duplicating her kiss into her hair.

A few minutes passed in silence before Sara turned up to him, resting her chin on his chest as she gazed at his darkened face.

"Griss?" She asked quietly, causing him to open his eyes to her.

"Hmm?" He sounded so sleepy she couldn't help the smile that graced her lips.

"I love you." She whispered hesitantly. They hadn't exchanged the words since their first night together when the words were said in the throws of passion. He lifted his head to meet her gaze and smiled. Wrapping his arms around her slender body, he held her tight and kissed her softly.

"I love you too, Sara. Don't ever doubt that." And with that she cuddled up to him, both with a smile on their faces before letting the realms of sleep overtake them.

The rest of the week went by in a similar fashion. Teasing each other at work became some what of a ritual of sorts. Although Grissom was proud to say that on one occasion he won the daily bet, which turned into the winner choosing what they wanted for breakfast/lunch/dinner, whatever you want to call it. They had elected Grissom's townhouse as their place of choice giving that he actually had a decent sized kitchen and a stocked fridge and of course, he had a huge bed, prefect for all of their…activities. They had settled into a routine if you will. They would go to work, play their torture games, come 'home' as they both have come to call it, eat a hearty meal, have mind-blowing sex, sleep, shower, sometimes together and sometimes not, eat, watch the news, do the crossword and sometimes watch a movie before repeating the process. Despite the habitual everyday cycle, they were both enjoying themselves immensely. They appreciated the stability of it all. Each being new to having a relationship, they were glad to have consistency for the time being while they learned how to be with each other in a personal setting outside of work, and leaving work at work. That all lasted for two weeks since her doctor's appointment.


	4. Changes

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Four: Changes**

Trying to ease his torment by any possible way, he assigned Catherine and Sara a case together while he sorted through the mounds of paperwork on his desk. After processing the scene for nearly six hours, they were camped out in the layout room now combing through the little evidence they had found. Jokes and subtle 'girl-talk' was exchanged while processing until the loud shrill of Sara's cell phone jolted them both.

"Sorry." Sara said with a shrug before unclipping the loud phone. "Sidle." She answered as her eyes skimmed over the documents in front of her from their case.

"Hi Sara, its Doctor Wallace from the clinic." The man responded.

"Oh, hi doctor. What can I do for you?" She asked, a little confused that her doctor was calling her in the middle of the night. Usually they would just leave a message on her home machine letting her know that her tests came back. When Catherine heard the term 'doctor' he ears instantly tuned into the conversation, her curiosity peeked.

"Sara, I would like for you to come in. I have your test results back and I'd like to talk to you about them." The doctor answered hesitantly, something that did not go unnoticed by Sara. And the instant dropping of Sara's once happy expression didn't go unnoticed by Catherine.

"Why? What's wrong?" She asked defiantly, causing Catherine to get even more nervous.

"If you could come in…" The doctor tried, but was quickly cut off by Sara.

"No! Just tell me what's wrong! Please!" Sara demanded, suddenly feeling very scared and angry.

"Okay, okay. Sara, but please, you need to understand that there is no good way to say this." He started, trying to keep her calm.

"Please, just tell me." She pleaded as the tears pooled in her eyes, making Catherine's heart skip.

"Sara, your test results are back, and with the bruise I found on your leg, and given your family history, I tested your blood cells. We've found a vast amount of cancer cells, Sara. I'm sorry." He explained to her and continued to explain the diagnosis and treatment but she had dropped the phone in shock after his 'I'm sorry' as tears spilled from her wide-eyes down her cheeks and onto her trembling hands. Catherine instantly ran to her side and picked up the phone from the floor.

"Hello?" She asked into it.

"Sara?" The doctor asked after having called her name several time without a response.

"No. Sorry. This is Catherine Willows, her co-worker. Um, can she call you back? She's really upset right now." She asked genuinely concerned and confused as she watched Sara, the toughest woman she knew, stare off into nothingness as the salty tears raced down her paled face.

"Of course Ms. Willows. Please, just make sure that she calls. It's important that she not wait." He told her before they hung up. Catherine could honestly say that she was scared.

"Sara?" She asked tentatively as she inched closer to the younger woman.

"This can't be happening. Not now. It just can't." Sara whispered through her tears, her whole body shaking with all of the emotions coursing through her. Sensing the other presence in the room, she stood up hastily and looked around, avoiding Catherine gaze. "I…I just can't be here right now." She choked out before running at full speed out of the room and down the long hallways, passing right by Grissom, but not even noticing him. Catherine followed right after her, and despite the current situation, she was amazed how fast Sara could run. She, too, ran right past a now confused and frightened Grissom.

Catherine knew about Sara and Grissom. She was the only one, but she knew. She had walked in on them making out in his office a few days before. (Remember the one time Grissom had won the bet.) But, she didn't know what the doctor had told Sara, so she didn't want to say anything to Grissom without her permission, no matter what she thought. She eventually caught up to her outside, after asking several people if they'd seen her. She was sitting on her knees in the corner of the parking lot, as if she had been standing and her legs gave up beneath her. Her entire body was quaking with uncontrollable sobs.

"Sara?" Catherine asked, announcing her presence so as not to startle her. "Sara, sweetie, talk to me." She pleaded as she knelt in front of her.

"I don't know what to do Catherine." Sara wept, sounding more defeated than Catherine could have imagined.

"Sara…Are you pregnant?" It was the only thing that she could think of that the doctor would have told her, and given the new discovery of Sara's apparently now 'active' sex life with Grissom, she felt it was a reasonable assumption, especially with the reaction Sara was having. But, Sara's head snapped up so fast and her words were definite when she spoke.

"No, oh god. No!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. But, Sara, if you're not pregnant, than what's wrong? What did your doctor say to you?" She spoke softly as she took Sara's hands in her own and they both settled further into the concrete.

"Oh god. Cath…I…I…I have…" She paused as another sob wracked through her body. "I have cancer." She cried, having admitted the words. Catherine's heart practically stopped. Without a second to waste, Catherine took hold of Sara's light body and held her close as they cried together.

"Come on. Let's take you home." Catherine suggested after sitting on the hard ground drowning in tears for well over a half hour. Grissom had come out shortly after Sara's declaration to see the two women crying in each other's arms, on the ground, in the parking lot. Luckily for him Catherine was facing him and not Sara, because Catherine gave him a look that eased his worries slightly and then mouthed the words 'I'm handling it' to him. Reluctantly and very nervously, Grissom had gone back inside to reseal the evidence that both women had run out on, but he couldn't keep his mind off of the sobbing Sara. Catherine stood and took Sara's hands, pulling her up to her feet and they began walking back through the parking lot.

"What about Grissom?" Sara asked shakily when she saw his truck in the lot.

"You need to tell him Sara." Catherine told her, trying not to sound harsh, but more encouraging. But Sara took on a look of instant horrification.

"No. I can't. He can't know." Sara yelled. The look of terror in Sara's eyes made Catherine's heart sink. She was actually more afraid of telling Grissom than she was of being sick.

"Okay, okay. How about we get you back to the doctor and see what he has to say, and then we'll go from there?" Catherine suggested, tears brimming her eyes.

"Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry Catherine. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just so scared." She admitted, resulting in Catherine pulling her into a hug. "I can't lose him, Cath, I can't." She whispered sadly to the older woman. Pulling back and looking deep into Sara's eyes, Catherine responded.

"What do you mean 'lose him,' why would you lose him honey?"

"I love him Cath. But it's taken five years and longer to get him to this point. If I told him, if he knew, he'd run again. I know it. And I wouldn't survive that."

"Oh honey, he wouldn't leave you over this. He loves you, believe me, he loves you more than you could ever possibly know. I know it took him a long time to see the light, but if there's one thing I know about Gil Grissom, it's that once he's seen said light, there's no turning back." That got her a light smile from the very pale woman before her. "Let's see what the doctor has to say." She tried convincing Sara of Grissom, but trying to convince a very stubborn woman was like trying to talk to a wall, but Catherine gathered that talking to the wall might actually be more effective. Sara nodded silently and Catherine led her back inside. "I'm going to go talk to Gil. He's going to be very worried. But don't worry, I won't say anything, I promise. Go get your stuff together and I'll meet you back in the locker room, okay?" Sara nodded and turned towards the locker room as Catherine watched after her, before she turned back.

"Cath?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…For everything." Sara said honestly, even attempting a small, sad smile. Catherine merely nodded and smiled before they both turned their separate ways and Catherine went to find Grissom. Sara had explained everything she knew from what the doctor had told her, but it still wasn't much. A lasting bruise, something to do with her blood cells, and that there was a large amount of cancer cells found. They needed to talk to the doctor, but Sara had dropped the phone before she heard any of the pertinent information, such as treatment and severity of the cancer. Catherine wasn't going to lie to herself, she felt that Grissom should know, if only to help Sara through it, but Sara had trusted her with the worst news she'd ever received and after spending a lot of time and effort trying to rebuild their friendship, she wasn't about to betray that trust.

Catherine soon enough found Grissom in his office, after dodging several questions from lab techs and other CSI's as to what was wrong with Sara. She knocked lightly on the door frame and when she didn't receive a response, she spoke.

"Gil?" Her voice broke him from his troubled thoughts as her rose his head to see her.

"Catherine? What's wrong with Sara? Is she okay? What happened? Why was she crying? Where is she now?" He ranted all in one breath.

"Gil. Gil! Calm down!" She ordered, effecting seizing his rampage of questions. When he was calm, she suddenly wasn't. She felt incredibly guilty for not being able to tell him the truth. He looked awful and it was clear that he had been crying himself.

'_Great! A bunch of emotionally hysterical CSI's.'_ She thought.

"Sara…well, she needs some time to think and take care of something. I'm going to take her out for a while." She explained, but Gil wasn't dumb, he knew when she was lying and/or omitting the truth.

"Catherine, please, what is it?" He asked as a flash of terror passed his features.

"I'm sorry Gil. It's not my place to say anything. When she's ready, she'll tell you." She answered sympathetically.

"She'll tell me what? Oh, god. Is she pregnant?" He asked seemingly horrified. Catherine couldn't help but laugh a little given that was her own reaction.

"No, I can assure you, Sara is baby-free." She answered, and then thought about it. "Well, at least as far as I know. But I think you're in the clear on that one." She said with a smile.

"Then what?" He asked desperately, on the verge of tears again.

"Gil, I'm sorry, but it's for her to tell you. All I can say to you now is that she needs you now more than she ever has. She's scared and she needs you to help her through this. Just don't pry for answers, don't interrogate her. Give her time. She'll tell you when she's ready." She explained the best she could.

"Cath – should I be scared?" he asked. She was scared, how could she tell him not to be. He just looked so confused and vulnerable. Desperate.

"Don't be scared Gil. Be supportive. Be there for her, and don't retreat back into the shell of yours and you're both going to be fine." She advised, trying to relieve him a little before she turned and left him to the solitude of his office. Grissom just sat there staring at his hands, trying hopelessly to think of what to say or do. As Catherine was looking for Sara, she literally ran into her coming out of the layout room.

"I guess Grissom put away our evidence." Sara sighed. Catherine quickly informed her of her brief conversation with Grissom, being sure to tell her of his sincere concern and turmoil.

"I'm just going to go say goodbye to him real quick. I'll meet you at the car." Sara said bravely.

"Okay. Take your time." Catherine said with an encouraging smile and squeeze of her arm.


	5. Moment of Truth

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Five: Moment of Truth**

It took her several attempts to motivate herself to go to his office, but she found herself now standing in his doorway, just watching him for a minute before entering. The blinds were closed, she imagined to keep out unwanted visitors. He was in his chair, but he had the back turned to her. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even hear her enter, or close and lock the door. His eyes were closed so he was startled when he felt something weigh him down until he opened his eyes. He was greeted with Sara straddling his lap staring at him and brushing her fingertips lightly through his graying curls. He hesitantly lifted his hands and placed one on her back, rubbing small circles delicately into her skin and the other to her cheek, gently wiping away at the tear stains that remained. Leaning forward, she tenderly captured his lips with her own and as it ended she whispered softly.

"I love you Gil Grissom. Don't ever doubt that." At the conclusion of her statement she hugged him tightly and rested her head on his shoulder as if her life depended on it. He held her as close as he could as he stroked her back comfortingly.

"I love you, too, Sara Sidle. And I would never doubt that." He whispered back. They sat there holding each other, taking comfort in the other's embrace for several minutes before he broke the silence. "Sara? Are you okay?" He was worried and there was no way of denying it. He'd never seen Sara like this before. So defeated, so scared, so not-Sara. Leaning back slightly, she let her fingers trail over the delicate flesh of his jaw line before kissing him lightly.

"I am now." She said with a weak smile.

"Okay." He said, not completely believing her, but not wanting to push. "I'm here when you're ready. I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

"Griss?" She asked shyly as she began toying with the collar of his shirt.

"Yeah?" His hand was still caressing her cheek.

"Can I stay with you after I'm done with Catherine? I…I don't want to be alone." She asked timidly as another tear streamed down her cheek, which he was quick to wipe away.

"Sara, you don't even need to ask. I'd be honored if you'd stay with me." He assured her, pulling her back into another hug.

"Thanks." She mumbled against his chest. Pulling back after another couple minutes, she sighed. "I should go. Catherine's waiting for me." She told him sadly.

"Okay. But I'll see you after." He answered her with a small encouraging smile, standing up with her and hugging her once more before walking her out.

After leaving the lab, Catherine called Sara's doctor back and coaxed him into letting them come in. Catherine was nothing if not...persuasive. Once they got there, Dr. Wallace drew some more blood and took some more tests before explaining the prognosis to Sara and Catherine.

"Sara, if you get a marrow transplant within the next two months, there will be about a six in ten chance that the cancer won't come back. With the new therapy we have at our disposal, we're going to try. It's just been approved, but it's the strongest there is out there right now. I highly suggest it. You're a strong woman Sara; we'll get you through this, but not without your strength." Catherine could tell that Sara was just barely listening. She was lost in her own little world as the doctor spoke.

He explained their options for treatment and gave them a list of support groups and counselors. He scheduled her for several more appointments, mostly with specialists and oncologists that can further her treatment options. He explained that the cancer is in her bone marrow and it will likely spread, and spread quickly unless she goes in for immediate treatment and gets a bone marrow transplant soon. Apparently he had already added her to the registry of donors, but that it could be hard, there were lots of people before her and in higher need so he encouraged her to have her friends and family tested if they would be willing to help. Catherine, before he could even ask stuck out her arm and rolled up her sleeve.

"Test me." She said, providing him access to her veins. He could only stifle the laugh, but not the smile at her eagerness.

"I'll have a nurse draw your blood before you leave Ms. Willows." He assured her.

The entire time that the doctor spoke Sara was silent, in disbelief. Catherine asked Dr. Wallace all of the questions and even took notes. After having her blood drawn, Catherine took all of the provided reading material, lists and prescription sheets from him and placed them in her bag before guiding Sara out of the office, thanking the doctor first. It took almost twenty minutes to get to the pharmacy, and when they did it was packed. Not wanting to keep Sara away from Grissom any longer she dropped off the prescriptions with the pharmacist and assured him she'd be back to pick them up. Sara was in no condition mentally to wait in line. Another twenty minutes more before they finally arrived at Grissom's townhouse. Sara never spoke a word since they had arrived at Dr. Wallace's office; she just stared out at nothingness like a deer caught in the headlights, devoid of all emotion in her features. She looked lost. Simply, Catherine was worried. She didn't know what to say to her. She just prayed that they would find a donor.

'_I will have Lindsey tested, too.'_ she thought.

When they arrived at Grissom's townhouse, Catherine placed all of the reading material, lists and notes she'd taken into Sara's purse before walking her to the door. She was still in a trance-like state, unaware of everything going on around her. Grissom opened the door before they even knocked, clad in cock roach printed pajama pants and an old LVPD t-shirt. Sara didn't even seem to notice him; she walked right passed him and towards the bedroom, leaving him standing at the doorstep lost and bewildered. Slowly, after Sara was out of sight, he turned back to Catherine who gave him a sympathetic half-smile.

"Don't take it personally Gil. She's been like that since…well, let's just say she heard a lot today, and she's scared." She told him, trying to assure him without breaking Sara's confidence.

"What happened? She wasn't great when she left, but she's so…"

"Not there? Yeah, I noticed. It's like she's escaped into her own little Sara-land. Here." Handing him Sara's purse.

"Uh, thanks. What do I do Cath?" His voice dripping with confusion and angst.

"Just be there and be ready for when she talks to you about it. It's not going to be easy, for either of you. Be strong, for her. If anyone can help her through this it's you Gil. She needs you now more than you could ever imagine." She paused to give him a reassuring hug, not sure if it was more for herself needing comfort than him. "I have to go. I need to talk to Lindsey about something." She added cryptically before she turned around and headed for the car. "Just be there Gil. That's all you can do." She said over her shoulder.

"Thanks Catherine." He called back; watching as she got in her car and with a deep breath in and out, started it and drove off. Taking his own deep breath he closed the door, locked it and went in search of Sara. He found her a few moments later in the bedroom, passed out on top of the covers, with her clothes, jacket and shoes still on. Despite the pain he knew she was in, granted not knowing the cause, he couldn't but find the sight of her so adorable.

Quietly and careful not wake her, he slipped off her shoes and socks, remembering how she can't sleep with socks on. Then pulling out a pair of pajamas she brought over a few days prior, he tenderly removed her pants and shirt, replacing them with the soft cotton pajamas. The white gauze pad taped to the inside of her elbow didn't go unnoticed by him. He could tell that it was blood being taken, but he still didn't know why and that scared him. Shaking the many different scenarios that popped into his head as far away as he could, he leaned down quietly and placed a light, lingering kiss to where the bandage lay. Taking one last long look at her he pulled the covers up and over her light body, tucking her in and kissing her forehead. Reluctantly, he turned away from her to lock up the rest of the house and shut off all the lights, but not before making himself and Sara a promise.

"Not matter what it is Sara, no matter how big or small, or scary or serene, I'll be there - every step of the way. We'll get through whatever it is, together. I love you Sara Sidle. You're my world." He whispered to the darkened room as a tear escaped from his hold and ran down his cheek.

When he returned from shutting down the house, he found her still asleep but she had turned in his absence so that she would be facing him when he got in, and her arm was draped across his side of the bed, as if searching for him.

'_I wonder if she knows she does that?'_ He pondered for a moment to himself before obliging to her subconscious need for him and climbing into the bed, lifting her arm and draping it over his abdomen in the process. He swiftly wrapped his own arms around her, the feeling making her shuffle closer to him, resting her head on his chest. Holding her as close as he could possibly get her, he placed light kisses into her hair and brushed his fingers lightly over her arms before whispering softly, "I love you Sara" and let himself succumb to sleep with her.

About two hours passed before he awoke to Sara's cries in her own sleep and he quickly jostled her awake.

"Sara? Sara, honey, wake up." He repeated over and over until she finally opened her eyes with a start and flung her sweat covered body forward, grabbing hold of him as tightly as she could like there would be no tomorrow.

"I don't want to die." Came her whispered breath before the sobs overtook her completely. Grissom felt his heart stop at her words. If he thought he was scared before, he didn't know what he was now.

"Hey, honey, who said anything about you dying. You're not going anywhere." He tried to assure her, as confused and frightened as he was.

"I'm so scared." She cried to him, fear lacing each word.

"Of what baby?" He laid them back down again with her head on his chest. After several moments of silence, he started to think she fell back asleep until her strangled voice broke through the tense air.

"Of losing you." Again, his heart stopped. His confusion was coming in fast waves as he tried to process her words, but he couldn't understand why she would lose him.

"Sara, baby, you're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere without you. Please, talk to me Sara." He pleaded quietly. He didn't wan to push her, but he felt that he couldn't help her, assure her, unless he knew the stem of her fears. Again several minutes passed before she took a sharp intake of air and her voice came out soft and distant.

"Do you remember when I went to the doctor a couple weeks ago?" He simply nodded and made a soft affirmative sound, while unknowingly traces circles on her delicate skin with the tips of his fingers. "Dr. Wallace called me this morning while I was going over evidence with Catherine. He…He…He says…I…I…" She didn't know how to say the words, how to admit the facts to herself and to him, how to form the words.

"You can tell me Sara. You can tell me anything." He said lovingly, placing a kiss into her hair.

"Griss…will you tell me that you love me?" She asked as more tears crashed down her face.

"Sara?" Confusion seeping from her name.

"Please, I just…I need to hear it." She pleaded.

"Sara Sidle – I love you more than anything on this earth." He could feel her body relax slightly with his words, and hoped it helped her.

"I…I have cancer." She stumbled out so quietly, he wasn't sure he had heard it. But he had, and then she broke down into his chest letting the tears fall. He went into a temporary state of shock, but managed to keep a strong grasp on her in the process.

'_Cancer? Sara has cancer? My Sara?'_ His thoughts kept repeating as the fear washed through his body like poison. His own tears began to fall, keeping time with hers as they held each other, seeking comfort in the other's embrace.

"We'll get through this. I promise. I'm not going anywhere." He whispered to her, resulting in her clutching tighter to him.


	6. Stuck With Me

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Six: Stuck With Me**

After the initial shock, Grissom and Sara both seemed to find reassurance in each other as they faced the disease head-on. The very next morning, they sat down together and read through all of the material the doctor provided. Catherine came by shortly after her shift and dropped off all of Sara's prescriptions, which was a lot, and refused to let either of them repay her for the drugs.

"It's the least I can do." Giving them each a sad smile, she informed them of her phone call that morning. "I got a call from Dr. Wallace this morning." Both Grissom and Sara looked up to face her, clutching hands as tight as they could. "I'm so sorry Sara, I'm not a match. But I'm taking Lindsey after she gets off school tomorrow to be tested. We'll find someone I promise." A tear escaped her eye as she saw Sara's expression sink to another lost hope.

"I'm going tomorrow afternoon, after we meet up with the team." Grissom added. They had called everyone when they got up that morning and asked them to meet at Grissom's townhouse the following afternoon. That it was urgent. Everyone, hearing the strain and desperation in Grissom's voice, readily agreed, all other plans tossed aside. Warrick, Nick, Greg, Brass, Doc Robbins, David Phillips, Detective Vega, Mandy, Jacqui, Henry, Bobby, Archie, Hodges and Wendy were all due to arrive around 3:30 for the 'big meeting.' To say that Sara was nervous was an understatement. She was petrified. Not only to tell everyone that she was sick and may be dying, but to ask for help. She prided herself on not having to ever ask for help, she saw it as a weakness. Plus, they would be telling them all about Grissom and Sara's relationship. Her, Catherine and Grissom were just praying that they would all be willing to be tested for the transplant.

"That's good. Well, maybe I'll just bring Lindsey here with me and we can carpool to the hospital." Catherine suggested.

"Cath?" Sara's tiny voice was heard.

"Yeah honey?" She answered.

"Thank you. For being tested. Even though it's not a match I know that you would have done it. That means more to me than you could imagine. So thank you." The tears welling in her eyes conveyed her appreciation perfectly to Catherine, and made her feel better about not having been a match.

"I'm just sorry I couldn't do more." She replied with her own tears pooling.

"You've done plenty. I wouldn't have been able to get through the day yesterday if you hadn't been there for me. Really."

Catherine stayed for another hour or so, explaining her notes to Grissom over coffee while Sara took a nap on the sofa. The medications were starting to take a toll on her already; she had fallen asleep against Grissom's shoulder mid-sentence about ten minutes after taking the prescribed meds. It had taken both Catherine and Grissom by surprise, but they let her sleep and moved into the kitchen to talk.

The following day, the day of the 'big meeting' after falling asleep unexpectedly again, Sara awoke to a cold sweat about three hours after having dozed off to find herself on the sofa with her feet propped up on Grissom's lap, who was reading the LVPD Crime Lab's employee handbook.

"Grissom?" She asked groggily as she tried to sit up, but was instantly hit with a rush of dizziness and nausea.

"Easy honey. Lay back down." He was at her side in under a second when he heard her voice and then saw her face pale. "Here, drink this." He said handing her a glass of orange juice. "I talked to your doctor while you were sleeping to make sure drowsiness was okay, and he told me that you'll feel very tired, so you can't drive while on the meds, and that you'll get bouts of nausea and dizziness. But he said it's normal with these meds, to just take it easy. Everything you've been feeling in the last couple days is to be expected and with your small body type, and the high dosage of the pills they'll take a stronger effect on you." He explained to her, as he wiped a damp face cloth across her face that was slowly regaining its color. "Feel better?"

"A little." She said, fighting to keep her eyes open. She still felt incredibly tired.

"It's okay honey. Just try and relax."

"Griss?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Did you mean what you said?"

"Well, that's what the doctor said…" he trailed off as shut shook her head.

"No, not that. The other night. Did you mean it?" He could see the insecurity in her eyes and it overwhelmed him.

"Every word. You're stuck with me Sara. I'm not going anywhere. I don't care how sick you are or if you fall asleep during a conversation. I'm here for good." He smiled and kissed her forehead before she reached up and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck to hug him close.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too." He whispered back as he climbed on to the couch beside her, wrapping her in his arms.

"How long was I asleep?" She asked after several minutes of comfortable silence.

"About three hours. You need the rest though." He answered, tracing circles onto her stomach where her shirt had ridden up slightly.

"I'm all sweaty." She sounded so much like a little girl completely disgusted by the concept of mud that he had to smile.

"Also normal with the medication. You're immune system isn't working properly so the drugs are fighting off any infection in your body. It's completely standard." He assured her, kissing her temple lightly.

"Normal or not, I feel gross. Can I take a shower?" She asked, finding that he and Catherine knew more about her treatment and condition than she did, not that she minded, she was actually glad to not have to worry about it.

"You can. But if it's okay with you, I'd like to sit in the bathroom while you do, in case you get light-headed. I don't want anything to happen to you." His voice was filled with so much love and concern that it nearly broke her heart to hear. She had been so afraid that he would run away, but instead he was running to her, holding her in his arms and caring. She fell in love with him all over again.

"I think that would be okay." And then a thought occurred to her. "You know you could shower with me and save time before everyone gets here." She suggestive a bit seductively as she trailed her fingers lightly up his stomach in a tantalizing motion to his chest. Part of him wanted to say yes, but the other part of him felt like he'd be taking advantage of her. Sensing his inner turmoil she looked up into his eyes, where he saw only love in hers. "I'm still the same girl I was a last week Griss. Please. I'm sick not broken. I need you right now. I need to feel you." Her eyes conveyed the trust and desire she held for him and if this was what she wanted, what she needed, he would give it to her.

"Okay. Let's go shower." He said, standing up and pulling her with him.

Together they showered, washing each other's backs and shampooing the other's hair. Once they were clean, things heated up and they made love in the shower with soft caresses and simple movements. Grissom poured all of his love and devotion into it, trying to show Sara, prove to her that he was there for long haul no matter what happened, and she took him in gracefully. An hour later they emerged from the steamy bathroom wearing large white towels and headed to Grissom's room to change. Catherine had stopped by again when Sara was sleeping; having brought with her a few boxes of Sara's clothes and bathroom products from her apartment. She knew that Sara wasn't going to be up for going over there anytime soon, and she knew Grissom wouldn't leave her side, so she did what she could.

The nervous flutters came back in full force as they realized the time. 2:43. Everyone would be there soon and that thought was not sitting well on Sara's mind.

"What if they look at me differently?" She asked as she buttoned up her shirt and Grissom pulled on his.

"I think all they'll see is an even stronger Sara Sidle." He kissed her lightly and gave her a smile before turning back to his dresser for socks.

"You know, they're going to know about us now. Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"Sara, if you would let me shout it from the rooftops I would. I think that we need all the support we can get right now. And if our strange, dysfunctional, scientifically nerdy, extended family can provide that, can help you get through this, than I could care less who knows. I love you, and that's all that matters." She couldn't help the smile that overtook her features and then laughed at his description of the team. Sometimes he was just too cute. "Now, let's get some food in you real quick before everyone gets here. Dr. Wallace said that you need to take your afternoon pills with food." Seeing her look of amusement at how well he knew her care, he gave an innocent shrug. "Just wait 'til you see the chart I made. It's on the fridge. It's even color coated." He had that boyish smile on again and again she couldn't help but mirror his smile with one of her own before wrapping him up in her arms with a tight hug. "Catherine helped."

"Thank you." She whispered.

"For what?"

"Everything. For loving me. For caring for me, taking care of me. For making medication charts that go up on the fridge and taking notes when you talk to the doctor or Catherine. For making sure I eat and letting me sleep. For tucking me in. For whispering that you love me when you think I'm asleep, and for saying it out loud when I'm awake. For being tested for the transplant. And most of all, for making me feel safe and not as scared." Was her answer of genuine gratitude. "I love you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I love you too." He placed a light kiss to her lips before taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen. "I'm just going to make you soup. I think something light would probably be best while your body is still adjusting to the medication." He explained to her as he moved around the kitchen and she took a seat at the table watching him.

"Griss?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going to happen with work?" Instantly he spun around to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Well with the…the…the cancer and the drugs and treatment and just all of it." She hesitated with the term for a while before bringing herself to say it. It still felt very unreal.

"Well, I was going to talk to you after everyone left, but Dr. Wallace faxed over the information and your medical records and his recommendations to the sheriff and I followed it up with a medical leave of absence form. Oh, I sort of forged your signature." With her shocked expression he continued. "You were sleeping, and I didn't want to wake you, and in order for it to be approved in time for you to start today, I had to have it in by noon, so I forged you signature. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I should have talked to you first or woke you up…" He rambled on as she got up from her chair, slowly to avoid getting dizzy, and walked over to him mid-rant, with new tears in her eyes.

"You did that? For me?" He was confused. She wasn't mad. She was happy with him? Surprised, yes, but happy. Tears of joy.

"I'd do anything for you." He leaned down and gave her lips a soft brush of his own before pulling back. "Can I talk to you about something?" He asked tentatively, making her a little nervous. Shyly she nodded and let him lead her back to the table while the soup heated up on the stove. "Well, I've been thinking and well, it's completely up to you and everything, but I couldn't help but think that it would be easier for you maybe, and well I would really love it if you would…"

"What Griss? Just tell me." She loved this new nervous boyfriend side of him, how now he was the one over talking, but she had to say that he was making her antsy.

"Move in with me." He laid it out so calm and direct that it actually took her by surprise.

"W-what?" No matter how hard she tried the shock was evident in her voice.

"Move in with me Sara. I mean, you practically live here already even if it has only been a few weeks. I love you. I want you here with me."

"Griss, I…I don't know. Is this just because you want to take care of me, because it would be easier?" She had to ask. She didn't want to move in if it was just because of the cancer.

"What? No. Sara, I love you. And granted yes, I want to take care of you, and yes it would easier to handle all of this together if we were living together, but that's not why I want you here. I'll be taking care of you even if you say no. I want you to move in with me because I love you. Because I love the feel of having you with me, of waking up next to you, of eating breakfast together, of fighting for the shower first and doing the crossword puzzle. Because I love that we play trivial pursuit to see who has to wash the dishes after dinner. Because when we went grocery shopping together last week I had never felt happier to share such a common task with someone. Because when you're here, this place is a home, and when your not it feels cold and empty and all I want is to be with you."

_Wow._ Was all that crossed her mind as she got up, again slowly, and moved to his chair, sitting on his lap.

"Well when you put it that way how can I refuse?" She leaned down and kissed him lightly as the tear ran down her cheek. "Yes Gil Grissom, I will move in with you." The smile that radiated from his face was intoxicating. "But only if you carry in all the boxes and let me paint the walls. The white cinderblock thing needs to go. We'll be seeing enough white walls at the hospital."

"Honey, you can paint them whatever color you want. You can paint a rainbow on them if that's what you want. I don't care as long as you come with it." He smiled so broadly it reached his eyes and made her heart skip a beat.

"Well it looks like we'll have to recruit the guys to help me pack _and_ give blood then." She chided, making him chuckle.

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"Okay, let's get some food in you so you can take your meds." He said standing up with her and going back to the simmering soup on the stove.

"I don't want to fall asleep, or be drowsy or dizzy with everyone here Griss." She admitted softly, the sound of her humiliated voice breaking his heart.

"Don't worry about that. If you feel tired, don't fight it, just tell me so you don't crash mid-sentence like before. And if you feel dizzy just hold on to me. I won't let you fall. And everyone will understand once they know anyways. So try not to let it bother you okay?" As much as he knew she didn't mean it, she nodded mutely and took the bowl of soup and the little cup filled with an assortment of pills.


	7. The Meeting

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Seven: The Meeting**

Right at 3:30 as planned the door bell rang. It looked as though everyone had carpooled over in just a few of the LVPD issued Denali's, which Grissom wanted to smile at, but he held it in. Opening the door he greeted everyone and let them in. Sara came to join him, starting to feel the tell-tale effects of being 'doped-up' as she had started describing it. Everyone looked on curiously at Sara being in Grissom's home, welcoming them, but no one said anything. The general thought consensus was that maybe that was why they were there, for Grissom and Sara to out their relationship. But then the mood shifted as Sara practically fell into Grissom, her face paling as she clenched onto his shirt and he legs gave way. But as promised, he caught her before she hit the floor.

"I'm sorry." She whispered trying to regain her balance and hold back tears of shame as he and Catherine carefully escorted her to the couch with Lindsey on tow to move the pillows for her.

"Are you okay?" Catherine asked frantically, but only loud enough that the three of them could hear while everyone else watched on in confusion.

"It's the drugs; they're making her really dizzy." Grissom explained to her as he handed Sara the glass of orange juice. "We need to do this quick." He told her after looking into Sara's eyes and her nodding to him in mutual agreement of her increasing fatigue. "She's not going to be able to stay awake much longer."

"Okay. Just hang in there Sar." Catherine nodded in agreement with Grissom before signaling for everyone to come in and take a seat, before taking one next to Sara, holding her hand while Grissom stood up and addressed the large mass of people.

"Uh, hi. First of all, I want to say thank you for coming, it means a lot. I know that some of you probably had plans or at least plans for sleep, so thank you. I'm going to cut right to the chase as Sara is getting very tired. Let me start with the question that's burning on all of your minds. Yes, Sara and I are together and we've made the decision to move in together." Catherine wasn't all that shocked but it did catch her by surprise, she figured that the decision must have been made that day after she left. Grissom, seeing the questions burning in everyone's glares added. "Which I'll talk about later. For right now, there's something more important to discuss with you." He paused as he took a moment to check on Sara, who tried to give him a weak smile. He could tell that she was fighting the drugs. He took a seat on the arm of the sofa next to her and took her other hand in his as everyone watched on anxiously with a mixture of fear, hope and confusion.

"There's no easy way to say this, Sara has been diagnosed…" He paused again, taking a deep breath and seeking comfort from Sara's hand before continuing. "She's been diagnosed with…with…with cancer." Loud gasps of breath were heard from everyone and now teary eyes all turned to Sara, with the exception of Catherine and Lindsey who were just trying to keep Sara calm and from. "I know that this is a shock to you all and that it's a lot to absorb, so without going into the full details, I'll tell you that it's in her bone marrow, that it's very severe and that she's fighting very hard against it. It is Sara after all. But without a Stem Cell Transplant and intense therapy and care, things don't look great for her. We're asking, as our extended family, that you all get tested to see if you're a match. We understand completely if you can't, it's a big responsibility. She's been placed on the National Transplant List but according to her doctor our best odds are with finding someone ourselves." Sensing Sara's grip on his hand loosen he immediately knelt in front of her, placing his other hand on her cheek as she fought to stay awake.

"Sara, honey, its okay. You relax. Go to sleep, don't fight it, you need to rest." He assured her as everyone watched the exchange. Grissom caressed her cheek before helping her to lie down on the sofa, resting her head in Catherine's lap. Within seconds she was asleep. Looking up at everyone he could see the confusion as to Sara's behavior. "She's on some serious medications. Her immune system has been severely compromised by the disease and she can't fight off the infections on her own. But the drugs are having a hard effect on her." He said with a light shrug, watching as Catherine absentmindedly stroked Sara's hair from her face.

"Grissom?" Came the first voice of the crowd since everyone arrived. Naturally it was Greg; he was always one to break the ice.

"Yeah?"

"Where do I get tested? I'll do anything for Sara." He said stepping forward to place a light kiss on Sara's forehead.

"Me too." Nick said, mirroring Greg's actions.

"Same here." Warrick added, stepping forward.

"You don't even need to ask." Brass chimed in.

"I already went and Lindsey's going in a little while." Catherine chirped kissing Lindsey's head, who was sitting on the floor in front of her mother.

Quickly everyone else stepped up offering up their support and marrow. Catherine and Grissom both felt a rush of relief pass through them as they listened to everyone.

"How's she doing?" Doc asked Grissom after about an hour of everyone talking about the transplant and answering everyone's question the best he could.

"I don't know. I mean she's scared. But who can blame her? She strong that's for sure. If anyone can do this it's her. I just hate seeing her so defeated." He sighed.

"Understandable. How bad is the medication they've got her on?" So natural for Doc Robbins, looking on the medical side of things.

"She doesn't like taking them. Within minutes she's falling to the floor from dizziness or throwing up from the nausea. Or she'll be awake one minute and crashing into sleep the next, but wakes up in a cold sweat dizzy and nauseous again. I can't blame her for not wanting to take them, but she needs them." Grissom sounded just as defeated as Sara had; he hated seeing her like this.

"If it continues to be really bad, talk to her doctor. I know there are alternative drugs that they could try her on that might not have such a side effect on her. Especially giving how small she is to begin with."

"Thanks Al."

"What are they proposing for other treatments in the meantime?" Doc asked, trying to gain a full knowledge of Sara's complete condition.

"Well, we're meeting with Dr. Wallace tomorrow to set everything up, but from what he's told us so far, she's going to undergo Intensity Modulated Radiation Treatment, fractionated dose chemotherapy, which she's not too pleased about, plus they're starting her on complimentary therapies like nutritional therapy. They're sending a nutritionist on Friday to go over a new meal plan for her."

"Protein shakes." Doc chimed in.

"What?"

"Uh, sorry, just thinking aloud. With the chemo and radiation, on top of the medication and the cancer itself, she's going to lose a lot of weight. I would suggest and I assume the nutritionist will suggest that Sara drink lots of protein shakes. It'll keep up her weight and give a bit more energy."

Doc Robbins and Grissom talked for a while, mainly Doc explaining to Grissom the intricate details of the treatments. All the boys took turns sitting with a sleeping Sara, after Grissom had moved her to the bedroom, talking to her and praying for her. Everyone was still in a state of shock, but as they talked about it, they were each in their own way accepting it. Grissom ordered a bunch of pizza's for everyone to keep their energy levels up, mainly so that they wouldn't pass out when they were having a substantial amount of their blood drawn later, and so that they wouldn't raid his fridge and eat all of Sara's yogurt. There was nothing worse, he'd learned, than a pissed off Sara because he ate her yogurt. There was no way that he was going to let that happen again.

Everyone ate together as they awaited Sara to come back to the word of the living. About two hours after she fell asleep, she emerged from the bedroom with tired eyes and little recollection of the events from earlier.

"Griss?" She called out groggily, and then looked up to see everyone staring at her, all with tear stained eyes and guilt-stricken faces. "Hey guys." She said shyly with a small wave before turning to Grissom. "I fell asleep didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did. But you lasted a lot longer than usual." Grissom said with a smirk, trying to make her feel better. He quickly got up from his seat at the table to encircle her in a hug and place a kiss to her forehead. "How you feeling?"

"Ok I guess. A little dizzy, but it's not too bad." She said into his chest. "What did they all say?" She whispered to him, referring to the group standing behind them.

"Everyone is going to get tested. We were just waiting for you to wake up." He whispered back with a light smile, trying to ease her mind.

"Really?" Her hope was beginning to come back, but she was afraid of letting it get the best of her. He nodded with a smile and kissed her forehead again.

"Yeah, and I was talking to Al and he was telling me about different medications to talk to Dr. Wallace about that won't have such a drastic effect on you." His fingertips gently traced the line of her jaw as he spoke, calming her.

"Well I guess I should thank him, and everyone, huh?"

"I think they're all waiting more to just give you hugs and tell you how much they love you."

"Ah, time to face the music I guess." She chided, trying to lighten the mood. With Grissom's soft chuckle, she took his hand and turned to the very alert group of people. "So, cancer. Crazy huh?" She joked, but the looked or pure horror and disbelief didn't take well to the joke. "Come on guys, you're not getting rid of me that easy. Come on if I'm going out, it's gonna be with fireworks and news footage, not from some disease. Cheer up." She smiled her true Sidle-smile. And again, Greg was the first to break free from the crowd. He scrambled up to her and gave her a fierce bear hug.

"I know you're gonna kick this Sar, cause you couldn't depart from this lovely word without having at least one date with Greg-ster first." Greg joked with her, making her laugh and getting everyone else to loosen up a bit, except for Grissom who shot him a stern 'I'm the boyfriend' look.

"Well, _Greg-ster_, as tempting as that sounds, and really, I swear it truly does, I think I'm set with my man here." Sara replied with a bright smile, lightly smacking Grissom's chest.

"Alright, well, WHEN you reconsider, I'll be there." Greg retorted, giving her another hug. "Love you Sara." He whispered into her ear.

"I love you too Greg." She whispered back, and then pulling away she eyed the crowd. "Okay who's next? Come on, I know you all want to check and make sure I'm still breathing. You are investigators after all. Except Doc and David, no cutting me open to check that okay?" Everyone laughed and formed a line to get to her. It took about another hour for everyone to get in their hugs with her, everyone feeling the need to say something to her. Which was sweet, she thought, but tiring all the same. She spoke to Doc for a while about his opinions as to her treatment, which eased her worries quite a bit.


	8. Praying for a Match

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Eight: Praying for a Match**

Grissom helped Sara to get changed into fresh clothes after the dizziness hit her and she spilled orange juice all over herself, they all packed into the Denali's, and Grissom and Sara went together in his car. The long train of government issued Denali's quickly made their way to Desert Palms. Grissom called Dr. Wallace to let him know of the herd of people that would coming in to be tested, which the doctor had laughed at but told them he'd meet them at Desert Palms in a half hour and that he'd call in a favor to get everyone tested without appointments. When they arrived at the hospital, Grissom helped Sara get out of the car and walked carefully with her, somewhat supporting her weight as they walked. She was feeling weaker than ever with the meds.

"The medication makes me feel worse than I would without them." She grunted.

"I know baby, but it's for the best. I know it doesn't seem it now, but they're helping your body. How about when Dr. Wallace gets here we talk to him about the side-effects and see if we can get you on one of the alternatives that Al was talking about?" Grissom suggested sympathetically. It was ripping him apart to see Sara, his Sara, who was fine two days ago, deteriorating before his eyes from what was supposedly helping her.

"Please. I don't think I can handle these anymore. I can barely walk without the room spinning." She sighed, having to stop moving for a minute and just clutch onto Grissom to let her eyes refocus and the wave of nausea pass.

"It's okay baby, take your time." He assured, sensing that she felt she was a burden to him and the team.

"I hate this Griss. I hate it." She grunted. Her frustrations were clearly starting to get the better of her.

"I know and I hate seeing you like this honey. But you've got to stay strong. We both do." The encouraging words only did a little to ease her tension, but it was enough for the time being. Anger was a typical part of grieving, and anyone hearing that they have cancer, grieves.

One by one everyone was taken in to have their blood drawn, each returning with a slightly paler complexion, a bottle of water and holding a gauze pad to their arms. Dr. Wallace assured them that he's have all the test results back within forty-eight hours. Those forty-eight hours being the most excruciating of Grissom and Sara's lives.

"What if there's no match?" Sara asked Grissom that night as they ate dinner.

"Don't think like that." Grissom said sternly yet lovingly.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous."

"I know baby. I am too." Gently he reached over and rubbed his hand over her back in a comforting gesture. "So, my beautiful woman, what would you like to do tonight?" Instantly Sara's eyes shot up to Grissom's, confused.

"What do you mean? Don't you have to work? I mean I love you being here and all, but you haven't been to the lab in two days Griss."

"I'm not going back to the lab."

"You have the night off?"

"Sort of. I was going to talk to you this morning about this, but then everyone came over and it slipped my mind."

"Talk to me about what?" Her eyes showed of confusion and worry.

"Well, given my lack of life outside the lab before you came around, I had about twenty weeks of stored up vacation time saved up, and well, after having a nice long conference call with the mayor, sheriff and Ecklie, I've put in for it."

"You took vacation time?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"All of it."

"All of it?!"

"Mmm-Hmm. All of it. All twenty weeks. Five months. And then we'll go from there."

"You…you took FIVE months of vacation time!" He couldn't decide if she was angry or excited, or maybe a bit of both.

"Yes."

"Grissom! What were you thinking? Who's going to take care of the lab? What are you going to do? Why would you do that?! The lab needs you! The lab is your life Grissom!" This would be the point that he was changing his mind about the yogurt-mad Sara, and adding this moment to top off the list.

"Sara. Sara!" He cut her off, receiving a silent death glare instead.

"What!"

"Okay, please, just calm down and let me explain. Please." Seeing her body relax slightly and the fire in her eyes whither away a bit, he took a deep breath and spoke. "Okay, well first of all, I'm sorry. I should have talked to you first, but you're wrong. The lab _was_ my life. It's not anymore. You are. You're more important to me than anything that the lab holds. And I'm not quitting or anything, just taking leave to be with you. To help take care of you. You need me more than the lab does. They'll be fine. Catherine is taking over as temporary supervisor of night shift, Greg is now taking on a full roll as a CSI Level 1, Ecklie is hiring a couple of temporary CSI's to fill our places while we're out and…" Suddenly he found his lips silenced by Sara's, and he was shocked. Wasn't she just yelling at him?

"I love you." She murmured against his lips.

"You mean you're not mad?" He asked, very, very cautiously.

"No. I'm not mad. I just don't want you doing anything for me that you'll regret."

"I'll never regret anything having to do with you Sara."

So together they sat and finished their dinner, holding hands as they talked about nothing and everything and anything in between.

"Hey Griss?" Sara asked as he was loading the dishwasher.

"Yeah?" He replied distractedly.

"I was just thinking."

"About?" He said, finally giving her his full attention.

"Well, I know we agreed that I'd move in with you…" And now his heart stopped again thinking she was changing her mind.

"But?"

"But, with everything that we're going through now, I was just thinking that…"

"It's okay Sara. Really I understand." He said sadly. She suddenly realized what he was thinking and jumped up, grabbing a tight hold of him.

"No, baby, no. I'm not changing my mind. I want to move in with you. I want to live with you."

"Than what…?"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could get a place…together. You know, a fresh start for both of us. A place that didn't start as yours or mine, but a place that's really ours. Somewhere that we can really make a home together." She felt stupid asking, but she would still in a way always see Grissom's place as his place, and so would everyone else. She wanted them to have 'their' place. Without warning it was Grissom's turn to lay a sudden kiss to her lips.

"I think that's a great idea."

"Really?"

"Really. And…now that we both have unlimited time on our hands, we'll have plenty of time to look and pack."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Positive."

Thus, their plans for the evening turned into Sara curled up on the couch next to Grissom as they searched real estate websites online. They called in an appointment with a realtor to help them figure out all the details of what needed to be done. Sara's lease was up in a month for her apartment, so they took advantage of that and set it as their move-in date. The realtor that met them helped them put up the town house for sale, as well as apply for a joint-mortgage for the new house that she would help them find.


	9. Only Hope

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Nine: Only Hope**

Ideas for the new house kept their minds busy and occupied, and the following day, since Sara seemed to be having a better day physically, they went to her apartment to start packing up some of her things. The entire packing experience was a blast for both of them, and kept them laughing, until Grissom's cell phone rang, and both of them froze.

"Answer it." Sara said, trying not to sound as nervous as she was.

"What ever happens Sara, we're in this together." He said before taking a deep breath and flipping open the phone. Tentatively, Sara listened into the half of the conversation she could hear. "Grissom. Yes. Okay. Yes. She's having a better day today. Thank you. Please. Right. Okay. Yes. I understand. Yes, I will. Thank you doctor. Goodbye." He had turned away from Sara while speaking so she couldn't see his facial expressions and read his eyes, but his voice sounded strained and dismal. Instantly her heart sunk. There goes the hope.

"So…?" She asked him on the verge of tears, with his back still turned to her.

"Well, the results are in." Still his voice was gloomy, and she felt the tears release from her eyes. She had been stupid to believe that there would be a match.

"It's…It's okay. We'll find another way. You know, we'll figure something out. And there's still the chance that the chemo will work. And we could always try and find my mother or brother, it's been a long time but I'll do it. We shouldn't worry. And besides, there's still more options. And we have time." She rambled on and on as the tears escaped her and her hoped washed out with them. She didn't even notice Grissom turn back around in her hasty pacing of the room.

"Sara." He tried but she continued on, so he tried once more. "Sara!" That stopped her and she froze but still didn't look up at him. Cautiously he walked to her and placed his hands lightly on her upper arms, holding her still. "Sara, look at me." And she did. Only to look into his eyes that, too, were leaking tears. That's when she knew that the hope was gone, or so she thought. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't actually look deep into his eyes to see the true emotions. "Sara, honey…I'm a match." She didn't hear him, her thoughts had taken over. "Sara? Sara, did you hear me?" Finally she shook the thoughts from her mind and regain her focus on him.

"Hmm?" She said wearily. He could tell that she was already slipping back into her own world, a world where nothing can hurt her, and he knew she hadn't heard.

"Sara. I'm a match. We're a match. You're going to have the transplant."

"What?" Now, she had heard, she just didn't believe it.

"Baby, we're going to get you through this."

"A match? You're a match?" She asked in disbelief.

"I'm a match baby. It's good news."

"You're a match." And then the words finally sunk in and hit her. A joy stricken smile slowly formed across her face as new tears, happy tears welled in her eyes. "Thank you God." She whispered before throwing herself into Grissom's arms and releasing the sobs welling in her.

"Thank you. Thank you." Grissom kept repeating in a whisper as he held her as tight as he could. It was clear to her that he wasn't thanking her, but someone or something else. Once the excitement hit them, Grissom picked her up, her feet dangling as he spun her around laughing. Finally placing her back down after making her very dizzy, he held her close again before kissing her with all the love her felt for her. "God Sara, I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Griss. I love you more than anything."

"Come on. We're celebrating tonight." He said taking her hand and gathering up their things.

"What? Where?" She asked with a huge smile.

"Anywhere. It doesn't matter. Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do!" He said excitedly.

So after finishing up with a few boxes and packing them into the Denali, they headed out of Sara's apartment. They had decided to celebrate with going to a nice dinner, as Sara was getting a little sick of the "cancer food" as she called it, and then catching a movie. Nothing fancy, but for them and Sara's energy, it was high-class. But first, Sara wanted to stop by the lab to let everyone know the news and to thank them all for getting tested. As it turned out, both Brass and Nick matched four out of six qualifiers, and in the case it was needed they agreed to do whatever it took. Their matches weren't great but it was better than nothing, and besides, Grissom was a full six point match.

Their night went wonderfully. Grissom even let Sara hold off for a couple hours on her meds so that she could actually be awake during their date. The doctor had said it was fine and that he completely understood. He was able to switch one of her medications, which was the main reason that Sara was having a better day in regards to her energy and strength, but the other's had to stay as prescribed, which left her still with the insta-sleep, the nausea and dizziness. But she was happy to have at least the smallest bit of her energy back. The transplant was scheduled for four weeks after the celebratory night, so in the mean time they searched for their new house, sold the townhouse and packed all their things.

The house they found was perfect. With Sara's eye for artistic detail and beauty and Grissom's eye for practicality and his old soul, the small Victorian colonial was just the thing for them. It features a blend of preservation along with more modern amenities. Three bedrooms, two and half baths. Complete with the white picket fence out front and a beatiful lush green lawn both in front and in the large back yard. The old style kitchen had been redone to fit a more modern layout with basically all new appliances and cabinetry, and it was large enough for them and more. Full fireplace in both the living room and master bedroom, to which Sara fell in love with. Located on a beautiful corner lot, bordered by a white picket fence and filled with flowers and plants of all kinds. Grand, handsome staircase, high ceilings, and a wealth of design details. Natural light flowing to every room through the great windows. They didn't even have to consider it before making an offer. They were in love.


	10. Win or Lose

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Ten: Win or Lose**

The weeks flew by with them moving. With Grissom's connections, and a pre-approved home loan they were able to bypass the usual paperwork and waiting period, and were able to move in just two days before the surgery. Just about everything was left in the boxes as they hadn't had much time to unpack anything with all the pre-surgery doctor's appointments for them both.

The day of the surgery, Catherine drove them both to the hospital, where they were met by Warrick, Nick, Greg, Brass, Doc and David. Hugs and wishes of luck and love were exchanged before Grissom and Sara were both checked in and wheeled to a room to wait until the surgery was to start. They were both given the same room, but different beds, and for the most part they stayed quiet. All of their visitors came in one by one to give their final greetings before leaving for the day and promises to return later. All except Catherine who was staying. Quietly she entered the room where the curtain was drawn around Grissom's bed. Sara saw the quizzical look Catherine had and chimed in.

"The nurse is with him."

"Oh." Catherine said, wiping the expression from her face and coming to sit beside Sara. "So how are you doing?"

"I'm good. Tired, a little light headed, but good overall. The whole losing my hair thing sucks, but I'm not bald yet." Sara replied with a genuine smile.

"Aren't you scared?" Catherine asked perplexed. She seriously didn't understand how Sara could be so calm. But then Sara turned her head to look at Grissom as the nurse opened the curtain, and instantly her eyes lit up.

"I'm not scared. Because win or lose, when I wake up after the surgery, I've already got everything I need to keep me going. Marrow or not, I've got all I need. If I were to die tomorrow, it would be okay, because I would have died truly happy." She answered honestly. To say that Catherine was a little taken aback by the statement would have been an understatement, but for the first time, she looked at Sara and saw her for the strong woman she was, and not just the strong face she put on for everyone, but the real, truly strong woman.

"You're my hero, you know that?" Catherine asked her, also genuinely calm.

"Uh, no. But thanks." Sara replied, a little shocked herself as she turned back to Catherine.

"You two really have something you know. I'm so proud of both of you. I don't think I could be as strong as you both are if I were in your place."

"I love him Cath. More than I ever even thought possible. Which says a lot given that I've been in love with him for over a decade." They both chuckled a little.

"Hey. No laughing without me!" Grissom called over, getting instant smiles from both woman.

Catherine stayed with them for another ten minutes or so, just making idle chit chat before giving them each a hug and kiss to the cheek and leaving, with the promise to be back when they woke up. They had about ten more minutes before the nurse would be in to them into the OR, a time in which they had a very powerful and important conversation.

"Sara?"

"Yeah honey?"

"You okay?"

"I am. I really am. You?"

"I am, I just wish I was in that bed with you." She had to laugh at that. "Just to hold you."

"I know, I'm sorry, call it another weird fantasy." She said, stifling her giggle fit.

"I'll keep that in mind." He replied with his own chuckle.

"I love you Griss."

"I love you, too, Sara." The room went quiet for a minute and then Grissom rolled his head to the side to look at her. "Sara?" She mimicked his move and turned her head to face him.

"Yeah?"

"If I were to ask you to marry me, what would you say?" She obviously had not been expecting that question, her entire facial expression dropped.

"I…well…uh…I um…"

"It's okay." Grissom said trying to hide his disappointment.

"No, Griss, it's just. I don't know. I want to say yes, but at the same time, I want to know for sure that you want to marry me for me and not because I'm sick."

"Sara, I wouldn't…"

"I know. It's just me and my own insecurities. How about if I say yes under the agreement that we don't get married until after I have beaten the cancer. If anything it'll give us something more to fight for. If you were to ask of course."

"I like that idea." Then he paused to think. "Sara?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you marry me? After we beat the cancer?"

"When I become a cancer survivor Gil Grissom, I'll even bring the priest." She answered, ending the conversation and leaving them both to stare happily at each other.


	11. Relapse

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Eleven: Relapse**

The surgery went well according to the doctor. He explained to everyone that they wouldn't know if it would be successful for another month, but as of the moment they had reason to be hopeful. Two days later both Sara and Grissom were released from the hospital and brought home by Catherine and Lindsey. They were pleasantly surprised when they got home to find that almost everything had been unpacked for them, the walls painted and decorated, furniture arranged, and even the fridge stocked. The team was there awaiting their arrival to start a little back yard barbeque party as both a house warming and welcome home party.

Three weeks into the wait of the results, Grissom awoke to Sara murmuring, covered in sweat, coughing, and having a hard time breathing. Her entire body had paled to an eerie shade of white and was covered in films of sweat. After trying to wake up several times and only receiving incoherent mumbles in return, he called 911. The ambulance rushed her to Desert Palms where she was diagnosed with a pneumonia stemming from an infection her body was unable to fight off. It took two weeks in the hospital before she could go home. Grissom never left her bedside unless it was for the bathroom. Catherine and the boys took turns bringing him food and changes of clothes, knowing he wouldn't eat if they didn't bring something.

During the hospital stay Dr. Wallace informed them that the transplant wasn't a complete success, that the cancer was still there. It was a shattering moment for everyone. Grissom tried to keep up Sara's spirits while her body was fighting the war taking place inside her body. After going home, Sara continued her chemotherapy and radiation, causing her to lose her hair at a rapid rate. Grissom assured her that she was still just as beautiful as ever, but she had a hard time accepting it. Catherine, Brass, Nick, Warrick and Greg all pitched in for a surprise gift for Sara; a very expensive wig that looked as real as it possibly could. She had cried upon opening it.

In the next five months, Sara quickly deteriorated, much to everyone's dismay. She had undergone two more transplants and extensive chemo and radiation with little effect. Each time she would start to show signs of improvement she would relapse and end up back in the hospital. Grissom fought tooth and nail to keep her going, to keep her spirits and strength up. Without hesitation he put in for a leave of absence to continue to care for Sara. Nobody seemed to mind. In fact they were shocked he hadn't put in for one sooner. Sara protested, saying that she was a burden to him, but he wouldn't have anything of it and eventually she caved, secretly glad for his decision. He was there for her through everything. On good days they would go out together, take a walk in the park, have a picnic on the lake or take a road trip to the ocean, and on the not so good days they would just curl up on the sofa and watch movies or play games and do the crossword puzzle.

Around the fourth month Grissom surprised her with a dog. She was ecstatic. He hadn't seen her smile that huge Sidle-smile in so long, he was more than happy to give her that. She seemed to be even more pleased when he told her that he rescued the boxer from a kill-shelter that had planned on putting him down to provide for new arrivals. Sara decided to call him Chemo so that every time she went in for her treatment, she wouldn't think of the bad but instead think of him. And it worked. From that point, Sara seemed to renew her hope and strength, and made a vow to fight this with everything that was in her.


	12. A Chance

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Twelve: A Chance**

At the start of the fifth month, Dr. Wallace and his team of doctors got word about a new treatment. It was still in the testing stages, but so far it was having phenomenal results. After explaining the treatment, which would mean a risky surgery for Sara, he left them to think. Not only was it dangerous, it was expensive, and because it wasn't completely approved yet, the insurance wouldn't cover it. It would take a lot of consideration to do. They would have to go to Connecticut to do it if they decided to, which meant that their 'family' wouldn't be able to be there as they had been with everything else. A few nights later, after both thinking carefully, they sat on the sofa, the fireplace casting a gentle glow in the room, curled together, thinking.

"What do think?" Sara asked softly.

"I don't know honey. The scientist in me is screaming 'do it!' because I think if it worked it would not only be worth it for you, but it could be a break through for others as well. But the other part of me, the part that wants to hold onto you, protect you, keep you safe is telling me 'don't do it' mainly because I'm scared. Not that it won't work, but that something could go wrong." Grissom explained softly, rubbing gentle circles into her skin. "I don't want to lose you." A single tear escaped his eye as the words left his lips.

"I know. I'm scared too." Tenderly she brushed the tear from his cheek and laid her head on his shoulder. "I don't want to die. I'm terrified that something could go wrong with this surgery, but at the same time I look back over the last few months and see how much I'm dying a little more each day. The treatment isn't working. The transplants aren't working. If we don't do this surgery I'm going to die Grissom. I can feel it. There's only so long I can fight it. I'm tired. But if we do the surgery I could die too, or it could work and it could really cure me. I think that it's worth the risk. I think that I want to do it. But I'll only do it if you want me to too. I need you there." Her cheeks were covered in tears as she spoke, matching Grissom's own face.

"If that's what you want to do, than I'll support you all the way. I'll be right by your side through everything." He assured, tightening his hold around her.

"What about the money though. Griss, it's one hundred thousand dollars. We can't afford that, not even if we took a second mortgage out on the house."

"Well, I didn't want to tell you this until you made up your mind. I didn't want it to influence your decision, but…"

"But what? Grissom?" The panic in her voice was very clear. All she could think of was how he seemed to make rash decisions when it came to her treatment.

"Well, I was talking to Catherine yesterday and I told her about the treatment and that you were still thinking about it. I told her that no matter what you decided I would be there, but if you chose to do the surgery I wanted you to be able to do it as soon as possible, so…"

"So…?"

"So I had her talk to Sam Braun for me. For a loan." And there's the 'rash decisions' kicking in.

"What!"

"Sara, don't worry about the money. That's not what's important. And if it means paying off Sam Braun for the rest of our lives to give you the chance to have to pay him off for the rest of yours, it's worth it. Every cent."

"Grissom…I…I don't know. That's a lot of money." Her voice was somewhere between appreciation and hesitance which surprisingly made him a lot more comfortable. At least she wasn't yelling. Before either could get in another word, the door bell rang and Grissom reluctantly stood to answer it. Pulling open the door he found himself face to face with both Catherine and Sam.

"Uh, hi. Come in." To say that the man was a little intimidating would be an understatement, especially when he shows up on your doorstep. Quickly he ushered them into the living room where Sara was sitting, staring at the fire. The first thing Sam noticed was the large scarf hiding her bald scalp while Catherine noticed the look of deep thought on the paled woman's soft expression. "Can I get you guys something to drink?" Grissom asked, getting the attention of Sara, who physically jumped upon seeing Sam Braun standing in her living room.

"No, thank you." Sam answered.

"Me either." Catherine added, giving Sara a light smile.

"Uh, hi Cath. Mr. Braun." Sara said, slowly rising to her feet, trying to hide her struggle. Sam saw right through her façade as did Catherine and Grissom.

"Hello Sara, please sit." Sam directed, and well when the most powerful man in Vegas tells you to do something, you do it.

"How you feeling Sara?" Catherine asked, trying to redirect Sara's frightened attentions.

"Umm. Okay I guess. Same as usual I suppose." Shrugging she reached for the protein shake that Grissom had made for her before their talk.

"That's good." Turning to Grissom, Catherine questioned him silently before asking, "Hey Griss, could I talk to you for a minute, about you know...um."

"I already know Catherine." Sara interrupted, referring to the loan. "It's okay you can talk out here. I promise not to fall asleep on you." She joked, trying to break the tension in the room.

"Oh, well, okay. Sorry. Okay, well I'll just get right to the point. I asked Sam here about the loan and…"

"And I said no." Sam finished for her. Instantly Grissom and Sara's hopes dropped. "I'm not going to lend you money for a risky procedure. I'm going to just pay for the procedure and make sure that you are in the best hands the country can provide." He added with a smile that looked something like when the Grinch's heart grew. Sara and Grissom's eyes grew wide in shock and confusion. They weren't exactly sure if they'd heard that correctly.

"Umm…I'm sorry…W-what?" Sara barely managed to ask. Smiling broadly, Sam took a seat on the sofa across from Sara and the newly seated Grissom.

"I said that I'd like to pay for your operation and subsequent treatment. No loan. You have both been through enough as it is and had I known about your condition sooner I would have done something sooner. My Catherine here has filled me in on the ups and downs of your treatment so far and I'd like to see to it that you don't have to worry about the financial side of the rest." Slowly Catherine came to sit next Sam on the sofa as Sara and Grissom stared on, not sure what to say.

"That is of course, if you decide you want to do this new treatment." Catherine added.

"We do. We have. We are planning on doing it, but…" Sara stumbled.

"Sam, as grateful as we are for your offer, we couldn't possibly take it." Grissom added, still very perplexed by all of this.

"Grissom, please. Look at her." Sam said motioning to Sara. Cautiously Grissom turned his attentions to Sara. "You want her to have the best chances possible, I know you do, I can see it in your eyes. Let me do this for you. For both of you. This money, it's pennies to me and it'll far better serve you both than it will on any game of blackjack."

"Take the money guys. You need to do this. Just invite him to the wedding when you get better and call it even." Catherine advised, receiving a stifled giggle from Sara at the thought of a wedding invite being the equivalent of one hundred grand.

"She's right. And I'll have the beef, not the chicken." Sam joked.

"Are you sure about this?" Grissom asked, still not sure himself.

"Yes, I am." There was no doubt evident in Sam's voice. Taking a minute to look at Sara, Grissom finally caved.

"Okay. If you're sure." Looking back to Sara for confirmation, which she nervously provided, he added. "Thank you Sam."

"No thanks necessary. Just have the bills sent to me. It'll be taken care of. Now, all you two need to worry about is getting this lovely woman better so I can treat her to a steak in celebration!" And then with a smile Catherine whispered to him about Sara being a vegetarian. "Okay, or tofu." He added, making everyone laugh.

For another hour or so the four discussed the details of the operation and treatment along with all of the financial details. After about an hour Sara took her medication and Sam witnessed first hand the effects of them when Sara fell asleep, again mid-sentence. Grissom and Catherine didn't seem at all phased by it, which made Sam chuckle.

The next day while Sara was asleep Grissom called Dr. Wallace to inform him that they would be doing the procedure, to have him set it up. Later that day Dr. Wallace called them back while they were eating dinner to let them know the details. He was able to get Sara into the treatment program for a month from then. The surgery would be done in Connecticut with the team of doctor's there, but apparently Sam Braun had paid to have Dr. Wallace accompany them for the best results. After the surgery, Sara would have to remain in the hospital for a minimum of four days and then she could return home and continue the treatment back in Vegas. The treatment that followed the operation would be a three month drug regimen combined with extensive chemo and radiation. A much stronger and harsher treatment that would take a serious tole on Sara's strength and energy, but if she prevailed, the outcome would be worth the pain and discomfort. They were warned of all the intricate details and risks, but as they had discussed it, it would be worth it.


	13. Bring Me Back to You

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Thirteen: Bring Me Back To You**

"As long as I know that you'll be there when I wake up, I won't be able to get lost in darkness, because I'll have the light in your eyes to bring me back." Sara had told Grissom after he had expressed that he was afraid she wouldn't wake up from the surgery. That she'd get lost in the darkness and he'd lose her. They were sitting in the Connecticut hospital preparing themselves for the surgery ahead.

"You'd better, 'cause I believe you owe me a wedding when all of this is over." Kissing her lighting, he pulled back to gaze into her eyes. "I'll be here. I'll be here waiting for you to come back to me." He responded running his fingers over her forehead.

"You had better be, 'cause I've got the priest on retainer." She joked, before another coughing fit hit her hard.

"Easy baby. Here drink this." Quickly he helped her to sit and handed her the cup of water.

"I wish everyone could be here. It's so great that Catherine came with us, but I still wish my boys could be here too. I guess I didn't realize how much I came to depend on their quirkiness before something major." Sara sighed. She missed everyone.

"See guys, I told you she loves us!" Came Greg's very distinct voice coming from the other side of the door. Instantly Sara's eyes grew wide in excitement, Grissom simply smiled and gave her an 'I'm innocent' shrug.

"They're here?" When he nodded, she squealed, which made him laugh. "How…What…When…Who…" She practically screamed.

"Wow, easy you're going to strain yourself. Let's just say that when Sam Braun said he wanted to make sure you would be as comfortable as possible, he didn't just mean your hospital bed. He flew them all out for the surgery. Day shift, Swing, Mitch and Kristen **(The new CSI's that were hired to fill Grissom and Sara's spots.)** are all pulling in extra shifts to cover graveyard for the next two days so that they can be here." Grissom told her proudly as he helped her tie the scarf on her head. She was still very self conscious about anyone but Grissom seeing her with hair. Sara was on the verge of tears, happy tears, but tears none the less. "You look so beautiful. I love seeing you this happy." He told her. Despite the reddening around her eyes, the pale complexion of her lips and face, her bald head and the fact that she now weighed about ninety pounds, Grissom still couldn't help but find her to be the most alluring woman he had ever met.

"Thank you. I know you had a hand in this somehow. So thank you. I love you." Giving him a quick kiss she added anxiously, "Now what are you waiting for get them in here. I miss my boys." That was all he needed to get him out of his seat and hurrying the door.

"Come on, I know you heard her. Get your asses in here." Grissom called out the door to the very eager team pacing the hallway. One by one everyone filed into the room; Greg, Nick, Warrick, Brass, Doc Robbins, David and Catherine.

"Well what the hell are you all doing you standing there. Get your Vegas asses over here and hug me!" Sara demanded, which everyone readily obliged.

After about an hour of visiting with Sara, everyone was ushered off to the waiting room by the attending nurse, giving Grissom and Sara a quick moment alone.

"Promise me that you'll come back to me."

"No promise needed. I will be coming back to you. I'm not going anywhere without getting a taste of my wedding cake first."

"I love you Sara."

"I love you too. Promise me that you'll eat and rest while I'm in la-la land." She told him sternly. The doctor's had informed them that the procedure would last about 8 hours and then it could be another 12 hours before Sara woke up, so knowing Grissom's habit of not taking care of himself when she was in the hospital, she had to demand.

"I will."

"Grissom." She warned. "I will ask Catherine. And so help me if I wake up from this operation to find out that you weren't taking care of yourself, well, let's just say that you'll be glad you're in a hospital. I mean it. I don't wan to have to worry about you."

"I promise. As long as you're going to come back to me, the least I can do is eat something." He said with a smile.

"Okay."

"Uh, Mr. Grissom, I'm sorry, but we need to get Miss. Sidle prepped now, so I'm going to have you ask you to join the others in the waiting room. I'll keep you updated as best I can during her procedure." Came the voice of the nurse as she entered the room.

"Okay." He answered before turning back to Sara and giving her a fierce reassuring kiss. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"So will I." She promised before kissing him once more and pulling him into a tight hug. "I love you Griss."

"God, I love you too Sara. I love you too. Now you just dream about that wedding cake of ours and I'll be waiting to hear all about it." He whispered before pulling back and reluctantly walking out the door, blowing her a kiss before exiting.

Grissom joined everyone else in the waiting room and they all sat there in their usual tradition as they awaited any word on Sara. Ever since the first time Sara was admitted to the hospital, everyone would sit in the waiting room, drinking coffee and telling stories about Sara, things she's done, said, specific memories they had or just overall descriptions of the woman they've all come to love. It eased their worries and distracted them as much as could be while they waited. Now, was harder than ever though. This was the riskiest surgery she's had so far and the longest time she'd be under the knife. After being informed by a nurse that so far all seemed to be going well in the OR at hour three of the surgery, they headed down to the cafeteria to eat, after all Grissom did promise.

Once the eight hour mark rolled around and they hadn't heard anything, everyone was starting to get scared. They all pretty much sat in silence, indulged in their own private thoughts and fears. Grissom held tightly to Catherine's hand as he kept thinking of her promise to come back to him. Praying had become second nature to him again, ever since all of this started, and that's what he was doing. Praying. Tears began to stream down his cheek and onto his and Catherine's joined hands, but he didn't notice, or at least he didn't care. Another hour passed and still no word. No tears were not just in Grissom's eyes, they were in everyone's. They hadn't heard anything since that first nurse talked to them nearly seven hours before. Right as Grissom was about to give up hope going into the tenth hour, a man dressed in blue scrubs and a long white doctor's coat, a Dr. Hopkins entered the room followed closely by Dr. Wallace. Both men mirrored each other in their tired, lost expressions. Taking a deep breath the men moved into the room, gaining the attention of all its occupants.


	14. Guiding Me Home

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Fourteen: Guiding Me Home**

"She made it." Was all that the doctor said, but it was all that needed to be said. Everyone broke out into sobs, holding onto each other for dear life as the doctor started talking again. Everyone turned their joyful attention back to the doctors to hear what they had to say. "It was very touch and go for about and hour and a half around the seventh hour. Sara's heart stopped twice and we had to restart it using the defibrillator paddles, essentially shocking her back to life. For a while there I have to be honest, I didn't think she would make it through. Whatever was keeping her alive in there, it wasn't us, that's for sure. She's got a strong will to live. She's lucky to be alive right now. She's being moved into recovery now. Thanks to a Mr. Braun and a very generous donation, we are setting her up in her own recovery room so that you can all see her. She's unconscious as we spoke about before and she'll probably be that way for a while, but she's stable and doing well. As far as we can tell we were able to get all of the cancer cells. We won't know for sure for about six months, and for the next three months she'll be on intense therapy to fight off any remaining cancer cells and prevent it from returning. After the first three months she'll be lowered back to her previous therapy which will be a lot easier on her physically."

"But she's okay? She's…She's going to be okay?" Grissom asked hopeful with salty tears pouring from his eyes.

"Yes, she's going to be just fine. And assuming that the cancer has all been removed and she takes well to the new treatment, we may be looking at a cancer survivor, no longer a cancer patient." Dr. Wallace said happily.

"Thank you. Oh God, thank you." Grissom cried. "It was the cake." He said more to himself than anyone else, but they all heard and turned expectant, amused eyes to him.

"What?!" What the main response.

"Huh? Oh. Sorry. Sara, I…she said that she wasn't going anywhere until she was able to taste a piece of our wedding cake. She did it for the cake." He said with a bright smile and a shrug.

"That's Sara alright." Nick commented.

Sixteen hours later Grissom sat next to Sara's bed, doing the crossword puzzle, making sure to read her the clues as he did, like he always did.

"17 down, three letters, 'Chamber in Harem.'"

"Oda" Her voice was strained and quiet, but it was there. Grissom almost fell off of his chair. The crossword was long forgotten as he leapt to her side. Her eyes were still closed, but he could tell by her breathing that she was awake.

"Hey."

"Chocolate." She said as her lips curved up into a delightful if not small smile.

"What?" He was confused, amused but definitely confused. The doctor said she might be a little out of it when she awoke given the amount of pain medication that would be in her system.

"Chocolate. With white frosting and little pink flowers all over it." The smile on his face grew full length as recognition hit him.

"Well, I think then that we're going to need two cakes, because you'll eat one all by yourself." He laughed a little as he leaned down to place a kiss to her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." Her eyes fluttered slightly before she let them open fully.

"Hey there." Whispering to her, he stroked her cheek lightly as he stared deep into her eyes.

"I knew I recognized those eyes. They're the one's that came with the cake."

"Do you know how adorable you are when you're all drugged up?" He teased. He had to say that a drugged up Sara was quite amusing. "You gave us quite a scare for a while there."

"Hmm?"

"It doesn't matter. You're here now." Again kissing her forehead.

"Come here." She whispered as she struggled to move over on the bed, it took some work but she managed. At Grissom's perplexed expression she patted the bed beside her and lifted the blanket to let him in. "I know you haven't slept since, well I don't know what day it is, so I don't know how long, but a while, and I'll feel better with you holding me. So get your tired but in this bed and make me happy."

"Well, I would never want to upset the Great Sara Sidle, especially not when she's hopped up on drugs." He chided as he removed his shoes and climbed in with her, letting her lay her head on his chest and wrap her arm around his waist. He quickly rested his head on hers and cocooned her tightly in his embrace. "I love you baby."

"I love you, too. Thank you for guiding me home." She murmured, kissing his chest before falling back to sleep.

"No, thank you Sara, for guiding me home." He whispered to her sleeping form before kissing her head and letting sleep take him with her.


	15. Not Knowing

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Fifteen: Not Knowing**

The three months that followed after coming home from Connecticut were anything but fun. The drug regimen was extremely hard for Sara to handle, along with the intensified chemo and radiation, it was harsh, painful and exhausting. By the end of the three months, Sara could barely even walk from her lack of strength. It was killing her, and Grissom knew it, but she kept with it, otherwise everything they went through with the surgery would have been for nothing. So she stayed in bed most of the time except when needing to go to the hospital for treatment, and she slept most of the day, she found it less painful when she was asleep. Grissom tended to her every need. Giving her massages and making sure she changed positions so she wouldn't get sore or bruise when she slept and rested. Chemo, their boxer, would stay at Sara's side at all times, laying with her on the bed and resting his head on her belly while she slept. Grissom would have to literally pry him from Sara's side to get him to eat or go out; suddenly he knew what Catherine must have felt like all the times they were at the hospital.

When the three months were finally over, Sara couldn't have been happier. The chemo treatment went better than they had expected and because of that, she was able to stop all chemotherapy. Her hair would grow back and her strength would return with it. The medications were replaced with the one's she had before the procedure, granted she hated those too, but after three months of not being able to move, falling asleep mid-sentence and a little dizziness was like a very welcomed early Christmas gift. They still wouldn't know whether the treatment was successful for another three months or so, but this little bit was still gift enough. With the new energy she had, they were able to do things again. There were good days and bad days, but the good ones were taken in stride.

At the end of the three months, Sara's hair was about three to four inches long and growing rapidly. Dr. Wallace had given her a medicated shampoo that basically supercharged her hair growth and it was working. Grissom was constantly brushing it for her, loving the feel of her silky strands after so long of not having them. Along with her hair growth, Sara was able to gain some weight back and was beginning to look healthy again. Also at the close of the three months, came Sara's testing, to see if the treatment worked. For three days they waited anxiously for the results. Finally Dr. Wallace called and asked them to come into the office. Seeing as how he never asked them to come in for results before, they were nervous and expecting the worst. However, they were pleasantly surprised when he informed them that from what the tests showed so far, Sara's body was cancer free. He had to explain though that she would have to be retested every two weeks for the next four months, and if by the end her cancer was still absent, then she could classify herself as a survivor, but not until then. That didn't matter much to them though, this was the best news they'd heard since everything started. They didn't want to get their hopes up though, so they kept it quiet for the most part, only telling the boys, Catherine and Grissom's mother Jane.

While Grissom was just happy to have a cancer free Sara, Sara was secretly conniving with Catherine. If she was going to pull 'this' off, she was going to need her help. And help she got. Plans were made and secrets kept, Grissom in the dark the entire time. Finally after Sara's last testing four months later and coming back with a negative result, they both cried tears of joy before Grissom picked her up and spun her around the small office, much like he did that first time in her apartment. Her hair flowed and bounced as he spun her, its length back being like it was before the cancer hit her. Both of their faces were lit with bright smiles as Dr. Wallace, his team of doctors and nurses and the rest of the staff presented them with a small 'Congratulations Sara' cake.


	16. The Big Day

**A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate. **

**Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written. **

**Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.**

**And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest. **

**Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)**

**That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!**

**-Surviving-**

**Chapter Sixteen: The Big Day**

Two weeks later a party was in the making for which Sara conveniently suggested with Catherine, but Grissom didn't seem to notice. So on a bright Saturday in Vegas in Grissom and Sara's backyard, Catherine, Warrick, Nick, Greg and Brass set up elegantly decorated tables and chairs, laid out food tables, set up a small stage for a hired DJ and a make-shift dance floor. Catherine and Lindsey went nuts with decorations. Streamers and balloons covered the yard, from the trees to the fences. The tables seemed to have formed an isle in between them that led to a white archway covered in flowers.

Sara had pleaded with Grissom to take her out, that she wanted to buy a new outfit for the party. Claiming that with a fresh start she wanted a fresh look. He couldn't refuse her; he was enjoying her old vigor and playfulness, so he readily agreed. She ended up picking out a beautiful white sundress that accented her new curves perfectly. Grissom fell in love with it and with her all over again when she walked out of the dressing room. She told the clerk that she wanted to just wear it out, so they paid for it and left, hopefully having allowed the team back home enough time to get ready for them.

Once they got home, Grissom was in a state of awe. He had been expecting a small gathering of friends, but what he saw far exceeded that. Just about everyone from the lab was there, from all the shifts, including Ecklie. The mayor and sheriff were there, along with a vast majority of the LVPD police force. Looking around he quickly set his eyes on ones that were mirror images of his own. His mother.

Banner's were hung on the fences saying 'Congratulations Sara & Grissom' and 'Our Very Own Survivor, Sara Sidle. Congratulations. We Love You.' Only Catherine and Jane Grissom knew the truth of the day, although some people were curious, they didn't say anything. Everyone had been requested to arrive at 11:00 that morning and it was now about 12:30. After Grissom's initial shock to the large crowd, he mingled with everyone, talking with his mother in ASL and thanking everyone for coming. Right at 12:30 however, the front door bell rung and everyone looked around curiously. Everyone that was anyone was already there and no one could think of who it could be, least of all Grissom. Trying to control her smile, Sara simply shrugged innocently and kissed his cheek before heading into the house to greet their 'guest.'

Catherine and Jane exchanged knowing glances and smiles, something Grissom did pick up on, but before he could question them, Sara returned to the back yard. Stepping out of the large French doors and onto the patio, everyone watched her expectantly, unsure of what was happening. With a wide, bright smile as everyone looked on, Sara stepped to the side to reveal their guest. An older man, in his sixties, dressed in black with a white collar and holding a bible. Most people were confused whereas Grissom was in shock. He turned to his mother and Catherine who tried to act innocent before returning his attention back to Sara. That's when he saw it. He hadn't paid much attention to the yard, but it caught his eyes. A large, four tier cake with white frosting and edible pink flowers scattered all over. Focus his gaze back to Sara as she walked towards him, he watched her dumbfounded. With a loving smile, she shrugged and said,

"I'm a survivor, so as promised I brought the priest."

**-The End-**


End file.
